


Movement and Location

by thundercatsarego



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-03-30 22:22:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13961292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thundercatsarego/pseuds/thundercatsarego
Summary: Christen moves to a new city thanks to a work opportunity provided by her old college friend, Kelley. She doesn’t intend on starting anything romantic, but that doesn’t mean she can’t get involved physically with her new acquaintance, Tobin.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a one shot idea and exploded into a multi-chapter, half-finished monster. As usual, let me know what you think in the comments. I’m also on tumblr (thundercatsarego12), so drop me some questions/thoughts/suggestions there if you like as well.

“Hey, you made it!” Kelley exclaims as she opens the door, smiling widely. She pulls Christen inside, wrapping her up in a tight hug.

“Of course, thanks for inviting me.” Christen says, her words muffled in the shoulder of Kelley’s sweater. “I brought some wine.” She offers as they pull apart.

Kelley takes the bottle graciously, looking it over as she leads them inside the house. “Perfect! Thanks. I’m gonna put it in the kitchen. Do you want anything to drink or eat?” Kelley rambles off over shoulder as she busies herself with re-organizing the various foods and bottles of alcohol on her kitchen island to make room for the new bottle.

“Maybe in a bit. Thanks.” Christen says as she looks over the spread in front of her.

“Ok well help yourself. There’s plenty of food and drinks. Plates and cups are over there and I think the wine key is on the bar if you want to open something. Let me know if you need anything. Happy Friendsgiving!”

“Thanks...Kel.” Christen barely has time to thank her before the red head is off to another group to socialize and play hostess.

Christen inhales deeply and takes in her surroundings to get her bearings. Kellie was gracious enough to invite her to this pre-thanksgiving gathering knowing that Christen was new to the city and didn’t know anyone else here. Although she had reservations about the potential social anxiety this party might stir in her, it was a better option than sitting alone in her empty apartment unpacking boxes all afternoon. She had to branch out and make new friends eventually if she was going to make this move worth it.

Several strangers mill in and out of the house searching for the bathroom or grabbing a beer from the fridge. No one goes out of their way to introduce themselves, but they offer friendly smiles. Christen brushes the tepid friendliness aside and shifts her attention to look over the spread of food and drinks again, walking around the island slowly as she makes her decision of what to try first.

“Tough decision huh?”

Christen looks over to see a lanky brunette watching her, a slight smile on her face.

“Yeah, everything looks so great! Any suggestions?” Christen asks, hoping to start up conversation.

The woman shrugs. “My roommate made the apple pie.”

“Is it any good?” Christen asks playfully

She smiles wider, letting out a chuckle. “You know, that’s a great question. I’m not sure. She’s just starting to get into the whole cooking thing.” She trails off

Christen laughs lightly. “Maybe I’ll start with something else, just in case.”

“Good call. What did you bring?” The woman asks.

“Oh, I’m boring. I brought a bottle of wine, but I’m not really sure I’m in the mood for wine just yet.” Christen says off-handedly.

“I brought some beer if you want some of that.” The woman points over her shoulder toward the fridge.

Christen smiles at the suggestion. “Yeah, if you don’t mind sharing, that would be great.”

“Yeah no problem.” The brunette slides over to the fridge and pulls out two bottles, flipping the caps off with the nearby bottle opener. “Here you go.” She hands the bottle over to Christen.

“Thanks.” Christen goes to take a sip, but as she tilts the bottle toward her, carbonation quickly overflows into her mouth, causing her to spill it’s contents all over herself and the floor. She covers her mouth and holds the bottle away from herself reflexively as she feels the bubbles stinging in her nose and throat. She swallows and coughs lightly, holding back a laugh. “Oh my god, I’m sorry.” She wipes the drips of beer from her mouth and chin.

The brunette laughs along, grabbing a paper towel from the countertop to clean up the floor. She also hands one to Christen. “No, I’m sorry. I should have warned you that’s a really carbonated batch.”

Christen offers her a confused look; the woman continues. “I brew beer. That’s one of mine.”

Christen nods in understanding. “Ah... well did I also mention how delicious it is?” She teases.

The woman smiles as she continues to mop up the floor with a fist full of paper towels, “It’s ok, I’m not, like, offended or anything if you don’t like it. It’s just a hobby I do every so often. I had some extras from my last brew, so I I brought them over.”

Christen nods, taking another sip, the foam dissipated now. “No it’s actually pretty good. Does it have a name?”

She shrugs, “I don’t know. I don’t usually name them.”

Christen watches as she throws the used paper towels in the trash. “How about you? Do you have a name?” Christen asks playfully.

“Oh, sorry. I’m Tobin.” She wipes the remaining beer from her hand onto her jeans, extending it toward Christen.

Christen takes her hand, shaking it firmly. “Christen. Nice to meet you Tobin.”

“Let me know if you think of a good name for that beer. I’m open to suggestions.” Tobin takes a sip of her beer.

“Ok, I’ll let you know.” Christen agrees.

The two stand leaning against the countertop in silence for a moment. Christen picks at the label of her beer bottle, trying to think of something to keep the conversation going. Before she has time to feel too awkward, Tobin interjects. “So my friends are outside on the patio. You wanna come play flip cup with us?”

Christen shrugs “Uh, Yeah. You sure you trust me with beer?”

Tobin chuckles at this “I’ll keep my eye on you, how about that.”

She catches the wry smirk Tobin shoots her before turning around to walk outside toward the patio. Christen’s cheeks flush a little, feeling a flutter of butterflies in her stomach as she holds back a grin.

Once outside, Christen’s met with the bite of a cool autumn breeze, causing her to zip her jacket further up her chest. She follows Tobin to a table surrounded by other people who look near her own age. The table is loud as they cheer and yell taunts at each other during a close round of flip cup. Christen stands at the periphery behind her new-found friend, waiting somewhat anxiously to be introduced to this intimidating group of strangers.

As the game finishes and people end their cries of victory, Tobin steps forward and speaks up. “Hey guys, this is Christen. Mind if we get in next round?”

Christen smiles and waves sheepishly, somewhat uncomfortable having all eyes on her from the introduction. The group all nod and a chorus of “yeahs” and “sures” resound, easing her anxiety just slightly.

Tobin pulls Christen by the arm to stand next to her, and goes around the table introducing everyone. “Christen, this is Allie, Lindsay, my roommate Alex, her boyfriend Serv...”

“Hi guys.” Christen nods to everyone.

“Hi Christen, how you holding up? Kel said you just got hired at CMG.” Alex asks.

“Uh, Yeah. It’s been kind of a whirlwind, but everyone’s been really great so far--Sorry, do you work at CMG too?”

“Yeah I’m over in sales with Lindsay and Allie. I hear you’re part of the geek squad.” Alex says, sipping her beer.

Christen chuckles, nodding her head “Front-end development.”

“Ah I see. Now I know who my competition is at the office olympics.”

“Al, not everything is a competition.” Allie elbows Alex in the ribs.

“Well if Christen’s as athletic as Kelley says, we gotta watch our backs.” Alex jokes

“You play sports?” Tobin asks curiously.

Christen swats the air dismissively. “Oh, it’s no big deal. I played soccer with Kelley in college but I haven’t played in years. I’m ridiculously out of shape.” Christen laughs.

“You don’t look out of shape to me.” Tobin says earnestly, her eyes glancing over Christen’s body

Christen bites her cheek to hold back a smile and swirls the small bit of beer in her cup. “Uh, so are you in sales too?” Christen asks Tobin, deflecting the conversation to something less anxiety provoking.

Tobin shakes her head. “No way. I don’t work with any of these guys, I just know them through Alex. I do freelance work. Graphic design mostly...”

Tobin’s cut off by a loud bang on the table “Ok ok, can we get this game going already? I’m getting thirsty.” Allie calls out impatiently over the dull roar of the group.

***

After a couple rounds of flip cup, Christen feels more loosened up. The conversation between rounds starts to get longer and longer, until the game is all but forgotten in favor of friendly conversation.

Christen feels herself get knocked off balance as Tobin bumps their shoulders together. “Hey I’m gonna go inside and get some better beer than this. You want anything while I’m in there?” she asks, finishing up the cheap beer in her cup.

“Sure. If you have any exploding beers left, I’d drink one of those.” Christen teases.

“I hope that name doesn’t stick.” Tobin laughs as she turns to head back into the house.

Left alone, Christen looks around the patio, downing the last of her beer before setting the plastic cup on the beer-soaked table.

“So you knew Kelley in college right? Got any dirt on her?” Alex asks as she leans against the railing next to Christen.

Christen shrugs. “I mean, just your typical drunken sorority party stuff. I think she’s probably calmed down a little since then.”

Alex chuckles “I don’t know, you should have seen her at the holiday party last year. It was at the Hyatt and she rented a room for the “after party” and invited everybody to come up. She brought edibles and got everyone so stoned, management kicked us out and the company isn’t allowed to go back there next year. I don’t know how she didn’t get fired but, you know, it’s Kelley.”

Christen laughs hard, wiping tears from her eyes. “Ok, maybe she hasn’t calmed down since college.”

They both laugh hard at this, and as their laughter subsides, Christen asks, “So it seems like everyone here knows each other through work, but what about you and Tobin? She said she doesn’t work with you guys.”

Alex smiles widely. “Oh me and Tobin go way back. We grew up together and after we graduated, I got a job out here and since Tobin can work anywhere with an internet connection, she just kinda followed me out here. We’re kinda codependent.” She jokes

“Oh so are you guys...like...together?” Christen questions timidly, hoping she hadn’t crossed a line.

“Who? Me and Tobin? Ha, no she wishes. I’m actually with Serv.”

“Oh, that’s right.” Christen cringes as she remembers the previous introduction.

“No big deal. We get that a lot. We’re pretty close.” Alex responds easily.

“Oh ok. So is she dating anyone then?” Christen questions before she has a chance to second guess herself.

Alex doesn’t seem put off by the question. Instead, Alex just looks over Christen’s shoulder with a smirk. “I don’t know these days. Let’s ask her.” She sets her drink down on the railing to cup her hands over her mouth as she yells across the backyard to where Tobin is emerging through the back door onto the patio. “Hey Tobin, you fucking anyone new lately?”

Tobin scowls playfully “Yeah, your mom. Tell her hi for me.” Tobin retorts as she walks over, grinning with two bottles in hand. She hands one to Christen, clinking the necks together in a silent cheers.  
  
“Don’t listen to her, Alex likes to be dramatic.” Tobin says, her eyes shooting daggers toward Alex.

"What?! I am not dramatic!" Alex retorts.  
  
Christen sips her beer quietly, here eyes darting between the two as they banter back and forth in this verbal tennis match. It's clear in how they tease each other that they must be very close. They bicker like sisters and Christen laughs along to their playful jabs at each other.

Eventually, Alex diverts her attention away from Tobin, looking somewhat disgruntled as she changes the subject. “What about you Christen. You seeing anyone?”

“Me? No, no. I’m still trying to get settled in before I start dating again.” Christen chuckles at the idea.

Alex furrows her brows “Oh were you dating someone before you moved?” She questions further.

Christen shrugs “I mean, nobody serious. I was kind of seeing this girl, but I don’t think it was going to work out anyway. It’s probably good I moved when I did.” Christen divulges, taking a sip of her beer to hide the self-conscious look creeping on her face.

Alex hums. “Interesting.”

Christen catches the eyes Alex and Tobin make at each other, but it’s too brief for her her to be able to read too much into it. Tobin clears her throat. “Well if you need someone to show you the city or like, where to pick up girls when you’re ready to date again, I know a few spots.”

“Oh come on, please don’t make her into a little fuckboi Tobs.” Alex whines

Tobin scowls “I’m not! I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Alex shakes her head, looking over at Christen. “Don’t let her sweet face fool you. Tobin’s got a way with the ladies and she takes full advantage of it.”

“I just like talking to women, so sue me.” Tobin says with a cheeky smile.

Alex scoffs “Oh I’ve heard the ‘talking’ that happens in your room at 2am. Sounds like riveting conversation.”

Tobin rolls her eyes, hitting Alex in the arm at her comment.

While the two brunettes swat at each other playfully, Christen takes the opportunity to look at her watch. She clears her throat to interject and get the attention of the battling women. “I hate to say it, but I should get going. I’m having a couch delivered today and I need to be home when the delivery guys get there.”

“I’m sorry, did we scare you away?” Alex half-jokes.

“No no! I promise that’s not a made-up excuse to get out of here. Trust me, I would have come up with something a little less lame if I was doing that.” Christen jokes.

Tobin pulls out her phone. “Well hey, I’m serious, if you want to get together sometime or need help with anything, let me know. Here, call your phone so we can have each other’s numbers.”

Christen takes Tobin’s phone, punching in her number and letting it ring until her phone lights up in recognition. “Thanks. I’ll hold you to that.” Christen passes the phone back to Tobin, giving her a small smile.

“And we usually go get drinks at this brewery near the office on Fridays. You should come.” Alex offers.

Christen nods. “Yeah totally. I'm gonna tell Kelley bye and head out. It was nice meeting you. I'll see you guys around.” Christen waves at the two women as she heads back inside the house.

She eventually finds Kelley mixing drinks for a crowd of people surrounding her kitchen island. Rather than swimming through the crowd, Christen briefly makes eye contact and waves at her old friend, shouting a “thank you” as she heads toward the exit. Kelley mirrors her gesture, familiar with the routine of Christen leaving parties early while Kelley’s just getting started.

Shutting the door to her car, Christen takes a moment to collect herself before starting the drive home. In the quiet of her car, she leans her head back and closes her eyes briefly, recounting the conversations she’d had, hoping she hadn’t said anything too embarrassing. She’s jolted from her thoughts when she hears a tap on the window.

“Hey” Tobin says, her voice muffled through the car window.

Christen rolls the window down, surprised to find her new acquaintance standing there. “Hey. What’s up?”

Tobin rubs the back of her neck as she bends over closer to the window. “Hey, um, I know this is kinda random, and you can totally say no if you’re in a rush, but is there any way you could drop me off at my place? It’s not too far from here, but it’s like, just far enough that it would be a pretty far walk.”

Christen’s a little caught off guard by her question, but quickly shakes her apprehension. “Uh, no not all. Hop in.”

“Thanks so much—” Tobin jogs around the front of the car and slides into the passenger seat “—this is such a huge help.”

“Sure no problem. You didn’t want to stay at the party?” Christen questions as she starts up her car.

“Uh, no not really. It was at that point where people are about to start getting sloppy, which is my cue to leave—take a left up here— I don’t like being around for that part, you know?” Tobin explains.

Christen nods in understanding. “No that makes total sense. I’m the same way. When we were in college it was pretty much understood that Kelley and I would go to the party together, but probably wouldn’t leave together. I always ended up going home early. It’s like my mom always says ‘it’s better to leave early and be missed, than overstay your welcome.’”

Tobin chuckles “I’m pretty sure my mom said something similar—Take a right at the light—Moms are smart aren’t they?”

“Yeah totally.” Christen agrees, following Tobin’s directions.

“So I’ll be the house on the right with the red door.” Tobin points out

Christen slows down through the neighborhood and pulls to the curb in front of a craftsman style house. “This is your house? I love it! It’s super cute.”

“Thanks. We moved in a few years ago and have been fixing it up room by room. You wanna come inside and see? I finished the kitchen about a month ago and I’m pretty proud of it.” Tobin boasts playfully.

Christen hesitates, uncertain about this invitation. “Um...”

“I mean, you don’t have to. No pressure.” Tobin quickly offers, sensing Christen’s apprehension.  
  
Christen shakes her head at her trepidation. “No, uh. Yeah, I’d love to see it. I have to see this fabulous new kitchen.” She mocks playfully.

This elicits a crooked smile from the brunette as she pops out from the passenger side and shuts the door hastily. “Sweet. Come on in.”

Christen follows her down the gravel and limestone path to the front porch. Tobin stands at the door, fiddling with her keys until she finds the right one to unlock the door and swings it open. “Welcome to my humble abode.” She steps aside to let Christen walk inside the house.

She looks around the entrance that leads directly to the living room and kitchen which are lit up with rays of natural light coming from the many windows. The floors are the old original wood and creak beneath her feet as Christen walks in farther. As she enters the kitchen, she can tell Tobin put in some work. It’s clean and not overdone, but the centerpiece of the space is a large island with natural wood planks creating the countertop.

“Shit.” Christen can’t help the expletive that slips from her mouth.

“You like it?” Tobin asks behind her.

“It’s beautiful.” Christen says in awe, running her fingers over the wood of the island countertop.

“Thanks. I tried to do some of it myself, but about halfway through, I had to call in reinforcements. I’m not quite as handy as I thought I was.” Tobin reveals humbly.

“Well it looks fantastic.” Christen says, finally turning to face the brunette.

“Thanks.”

They stand idly in the kitchen, taking everything in in a moment of comfortable silence. “So I know you have a couch coming and all, but would you have time for a beer on my porch with me? It’s so nice outside.”

Christen clicks her tongue as she thinks “Depends. Is it going to explode on me?”

“I’m never going to live that down am I?” Tobin laughs.

Christen shakes her head with a small smile.

“Ok, well can I offer you just a regular, non-exploding, boring lager. How about that?” Tobin asks sarcastically.

“Sounds perfect.”

“Cool. Patios out that door. Make yourself comfortable.” Tobin points toward the back of the house as she walks over toward the fridge to retrieve their drinks.

Christen makes her way outside and just like the rest of the house, the patio and backyard are beautifully done.

“I back up into a green belt so I never have to worry about backyard neighbors. Makes for a quiet yard.” Tobin hands Christen a bottle, taking a sip of her own as they stand side by side, leaning against the railing of the deck.

“And a nice view.” Christen adds

“Agreed.”

Christen looks over to find Tobin’s eyes searching out in the distance aimlessly. Silence falls between them again, and Christen is starting to get the sense that Tobin isn’t one for talking when there isn’t anything to say. She decides it’s kind of nice.

“So what made you move out here?” Tobin asks finally.

“Oh you know, typical story. I wasn’t happy and needed a change of scene and Kelley said she could help me get me a job out here.”

Tobin’s brow furrows slightly. “Why weren’t you happy?”

Christen shrugs. “I don’t know. Unfulfilled potential, loneliness...I just felt stuck. Some days I just felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I didn’t like the place my life was headed.”

“Where was it headed?” The brunette asks curiously, taking a sip of her beer

“Small town girl who stays in small town. I didn’t want to be a cliche you know.”

“Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world...”

“Oh shut up.” Christen smiles, bumping shoulders with Tobin.

Tobin smiles at her, holding her gaze. Christen smiles back, laughing awkwardly. “What?”

Tobin shrugs, laughing lightly. “Nothing. I’m just glad you gave me a ride, and I’m enjoying this beer with you.”

Christen hums. “Yeah, me too.”

Christen can feel the heat in her stomach twisting and swirling with cautious anticipation. Christen’s eyes dart down to Tobin’s lips, watching as her tongue traces along the bottom one before bringing her lip between her teeth. Her eyes are drawn back up and she searches her brown orbs expectantly, hoping Tobin's stomach is doing a similar somersault routine.

Christen exhales, feeling her heart rate increasing to a pounding beat. Anxiety and excitement ball in her chest, and maybe it's the beers helping her, but she gathers the courage to just go for it.

Just as her weight begins to shift forward to lean into the brunette, Tobin clears her throat, breaking the momentum. “Uh—are you still expecting that couch or...”

Christen sighs, a little disgruntled that her surge of confidence was suddenly deflated by Tobin’s poorly timed question. “Oh, that. Um, if I tell you a secret, will you promise not to tell anyone.”

“Scouts honor.” She assures her with three fingers in the air.

“So I kinda made up that excuse to get out of the party...” Christen squeaks out

Tobin laughs in shock. “What?! That’s such a lame excuse! You even said it was a lame excuse!” Tobin exclaims, seemingly bewildered.

“I know I know. I’m horrible.” Christen scolds herself, covering her face with her hands.

“So that means you don’t actually have anywhere to be?” Tobin draws out

Christen shrugs “Yeah kinda.”

Tobin’s lips curl into a mischievous smile “So we have time finish that kiss you were about to try?”

Christen would scoff at Tobin’s smugness, but she doesn’t have time. Before she can react, Tobin has her by the shirt, tangled in her fist as she pulls her in, connecting their lips roughly. Christen can’t hold in the whimper that escapes her mouth. She’s as surprised as she is incredibly turned on. She instinctively brings her free hand to Tobin’s jaw, stroking the taught skin and guiding her lips to kiss her more deeply.

She feels Tobin lean sideways slightly to place her beer on the nearby table without breaking their kiss. However, she stumbles in place, losing her balance, and Christen has to grab her by the waist to keep her from falling over. They break apart and share a laugh at Tobin’s expense.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted both of my hands for this.” Tobin gets out between laughs and ragged breaths.

Christen giggles, mimicking Tobin’s action by setting her bottle on the table as well. “Me too.”

With both hands free, Christen pulls Tobin in close by the waist, picking up where they left off.

Their lips move together ravenously. It takes a few moments of bumbling to establish a rhythm, but their lips start moving in sync, and once the initial shock wears off, Christen can fully appreciate this tender, skillful kiss for what it is. She can still feel the cool wind chilling the bare skin of her neck, but the rest of her body is on fire with arousal and excitement coursing through her. Christen pushes herself into Tobin until the brunette is sandwiched between her and the patio railing. It doesn’t take long for Tobin’s hands to find the hem of Christen’s sweater, her fingers just grazing the warm skin of her hips beneath the fabric.

Christen recoils, taking in a sharp breath. “Ah, your hands are so cold.”

Tobin’s hands quickly release from the knit fabric “Sorry. You wanna go inside and warm up?”

Christen nods. She accepts Tobin’s icy hand as Tobin leads them back into the house, closing the sliding door behind them as the rush of hot air instantly warms them.

Tobin steps back into Christen, wrapping her arms around Christen's waist with a coy smile. “Now where were we?”

They’re abruptly interrupted by the sound of the front door slamming shut and noisy uncoordinated footsteps walking into the house. “Tobiiiinnnn” a voice calls out through the house.

“And there’s Alex.” Tobin mumbles quietly, almost to herself. “Maybe if we sneak out the back she won’t notice us.” She mutters sarcastically to Christen.

“Whose car is in front of our house? Did you invite that cute girl over to—heeey!” Alex stops her tipsy rambling at the sight of Christen and Tobin standing in the kitchen.

Christen pulls her hands away from Tobin to turn and face the inebriated woman. “Hi Alex.” Christen waves, pursing her lips slightly, wondering if she was the cute girl Alex was referring to or not.

“Hey Christen! What are you doing here?” She questions, her words slow and slurring just slightly.

“Oh, Tobin needed a ride home so I dropped her off. And I wanted to see the inside of the house since you guys remodeled and stuff. I really like it. It looks nice.”

“Oh that was so sweet of you! Did Tobin give you the tour?”

“We just had some beers on the porch.” Tobin interjects, clearly trying to rush through this conversation.

“Huh, I’m surprised she didn’t show you the rest of the house.” Alex says suggestively.

Tobin bites her lip, clearly holding back a few choice words for Alex.

“Actually I was just about to leave.” Christen says as she starts zipping her jacket.

Alex’s attention shifts back to Christen. “Yeah don’t you have a couch to get or something?” Alex asks genuinely

Tobin tries to stifle a laugh, masking it with an unconvincing cough.

Christen’s gaze shoots over toward Tobin, silently admonishing her. “Yeah, I should probably get going.”

Alex nods “Aw ok. It was so good to see you again! Don’t be a stranger.” Much to Christen’s surprise, Alex pulls Christen into a tight hug. Christen remains stiff, trying her best to give Alex a pat on the back to signal the end of the hug, but with her arms pinned to her side, all she can manage is an awkward flail of her arms.

“Alex, that’s enough. She’s good.” Tobin says, sounding somewhat annoyed.

Alex finally releases Christen. “Ok jeez, you don’t have to be all jealous and shit.”

Tobin glares at Alex, obviously put off by her comment, but says nothing, and her attention returns to Christen. “Come on, I’ll walk you out.” she says gently.

Tobin places a hand at the small of Christen’s back, gently guiding her through the house to the front door. She stops there and leans against the door frame. “You sure you have to go? Alex is right, I didn’t get to show you the rest of the house.”

Christen chuckles at Tobin’s insinuation, appreciating her confidence. “Maybe next time.”

“When can I see you again?”

Christen lets out sigh as she thinks over her schedule. “I don’t know. I’ve got a pretty busy week at work and I still have a lot to unpack...”

“I can help you unpack.” Tobin interrupts.

Christen smiles at her enthusiasm. “Ok, if you insist. I’ll text you later this week if I need some help, or just some company.”

“I’m good at both those things.” Tobin boasts playfully.

Christen leans in, placing a lingering kiss to Tobin’s cheek. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye” Tobin says, still leaning against the opened door, watching as Christen walks up the pathway to her car to drive away.

In the solitude of her car once more, Christen smiles to herself. It had been too long since someone looked at her the way Tobin did. She didn’t need a commitment, and Tobin seemed to abide by those standards as well. This could be just the fling she needs to get her confidence back.


	2. Chapter 2

The next couple of days are filled with orientation and training at work that leave Christen overwhelmed and exhausted when she gets home. So much so, that she doesn’t have the energy to even think of unloading the stacks of boxes in her house once she’s home for the evening. She orders take out two nights in a row, a very uncharacteristic move for Christen, and sits on the couch scrolling through her phone, undoubtedly racking up her data usage since the internet people wouldn’t be out until tomorrow to set it up. So when she gets a text from Tobin on the third night asking if she needs help unpacking, Christen's a little embarrassed by how little she had actually accomplished in the past few days.

C: [Hey! I’ve been really busy with work so I haven’t made quite as much progress as I wanted. Can I take you up on your offer this weekend?]

T: [Yeah sure, just let me know!]

Christen looks around her living room and sighs deeply. With so much still to do, she feels overwhelmed. So like any sane person does, instead of starting on a few boxes and chipping away at the project piece by piece, she finds the box of workout clothes in her room and rummages through it until she finds a pair of leggings and a top to wear. She slips on her running shoes and throws her hair in a ponytail, hoping a run through the neighborhood will help motivate her, or at least distract her.

As she jogs through the unfamiliar streets, she finds herself making to-do lists and rehearsing conversations in her head. She scolds herself internally for ruminating about things she can’t fix right now, and tries to refocus on the sound of her feet rhythmically hitting the pavement to center herself.

As she keeps running, she eventually loses herself in the automaticity of it all, and before she knows it, the sky has darkened and she looks around to find she has absolutely no idea where she is. She stops, bringing her arms over her head and walks forward, trying to catch her breath and think of what she should do. She didn’t bring her phone, a terrible mistake in retrospect. Her eyes dart around as she keep walking, thinking that maybe she’ll stumble onto a main road if she keeps moving to help get her bearings and find her way back.

As she walks, a bright red door catches her eye. She takes a closer look and sure enough, she recognizes the house—Tobin’s house. The sense of relief she feels is quickly replaced by nervousness. She doesn’t want Tobin to see her all sweaty and a mess. But when she thinks about having to jog her way back to her house from here, the mere thought makes her body almost collapse in exhaustion.

Begrudgingly, Christen makes her way down the pathway to the front door and rings the doorbell. If she wants to get home at a decent hour, she’ll need a ride.

The door swings open, and a familiar face appears, but not the one Christen was secretly hoping to see “Oh, hey Christen. What’s up?” Alex looks just as caught off guard as she is.

“Oh, um, hey Alex. I was just out for a run..I saw your house...is--is Tobin here?” Christen fumbles out.

“Tobin? No, I think she went out. I’m not really sure where...”

“Oh, that’s ok. She wasn’t expecting me or anything. I was just...actually, never mind. Thanks Alex.” Christen starts to turn, trying to get out of this uncomfortable situation as quickly as possible.

“Hey hold up. Is everything ok?” Alex asks, looking her over. “Were you out running?”

Christen self-consciously brushes the sweaty wisps of hair from her face. “Um yeah.”

“It’s dark.” Alex dead pans.

“Yeah...I kinda lost track of time...and where I was...” Christen trails off.

Alex picks up on the apprehension in Christen’s voice “Do you need a ride back to your place? I don’t want you to have to run home in the dark.”

Christen pauses momentarily to consider Alex’s offer “Actually, that would be great. I’m kinda lost to be honest.”

Alex chuckles “Yeah no problem. Let me just grab my keys. Here, come inside.”

Christen steps into the warmth of the house, closing the door behind her. She stands awkwardly in the entryway, shifting her weight against the creaking floorboards beneath her feet. She takes another few steps into the house, regarding it more closely this time around. She notices the framed pictures that line the wall and she gravitates toward them. As she examines one more closely, she sees a photo of a younger looking Alex and Tobin, standing next to each other in graduation caps and robes, grinning widely.

“That was our high school graduation.” Alex says softly as she stands behind Christen.

“You guys look so young. I can’t believe you’ve known each other this long.” Christen wonders aloud

“I can’t believe it either sometimes.” Alex confesses sarcastically. “Come on, my car’s out front in the driveway.”

Christen follows Alex back out the front door and to her car. As Christen buckles in, Alex starts the car and pulls out onto the street.

“So you must live kinda close if you made it to our house on foot.” Alex jokes, starting up conversation.

“Um yeah I guess. I’m still getting familiar with the neighborhood, so I might not be the most reliable navigator. I live kinda by the Bee Market off Charleston if that helps.”

“Oh I know where that is. Dang girl, I thought you said you were out of shape. That’s a few miles from here.” Alex jokes.

“I’m not really, I swear. I just kinda zoned out while I was running and luckily I ended up near your house.”

“Hmm. Maybe your subconscious just knew where to go.” Alex postulates

“Maybe.” Christen says looking out the window

Silence falls between them and the radio drones lowly. “So you and Tobin, huh?”

“Me and...Oh, no it’s not like that.” Christen tries to deflect.

“Hmm.” Alex hums, obviously unconvinced.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just... I know Tobin. I know that look she gets when she—when she sees something she likes.”

“Oh. Yeah, I mean, Tobin seems nice. She offered to help me unpack but it’s such a mess at my house still, I don’t know if I want her to see how bad it is.” Christen tries to joke.

“Something tells me I don’t think she’d mind.” Alex offers.

Christen clears her throat, starting to feel somewhat uncomfortable with the direction this conversation is going. “So you’ve known Tobin since high school?” Christen asks, trying to change the subject.

“Yeah. She moved next door to me sophomore year and we just kinda hit it off. We’ve been inseparable ever since. Serv has asked me a million times already to move in with him, but I can’t imagine not living with Tobin. She’s like a sister to me.” Alex says, a smile gracing her face as she reminisces.

“That’s really cool. You guys must have so much history.”

Alex laughs. “Yeah. For better or for worse. We’ve matured a little since high school I suppose. She’s been a good friend. She’s actually the reason Serv and I are together. They were both graphic design majors so they had a lot of classes together. He always ‘accidentally’ crashed our library study sessions until he just became a permanent fixture there with us. She’ll never admit it, but I’m pretty sure Tobin had a hand in how he conveniently figured out the exact times we’d be studying.”

Christen smiles at this, feeling wistful at the thought of the old friends and relationships she left behind when she moved. As she peers out the window, she starts to recognize her surroundings. “Oh, that’s my street on the right.” She points out.

Alex turns and comes to a stop when Christen points out her house. “Thanks so much for the ride, I really appreciate it Alex.”

“Yeah of course. Now that I know where you live, I’ll know whose door to knock on when I’m too tired to jog back home.” Alex winks.

“Thanks again. I’ll see you at work maybe.”

Before Christen can close the car door, Alex calls out. “Oh, speaking of—drinks at the brewery after work. You should come.” Alex offers for the second time, making Christen feel better about accepting her offer.

“Yeah, definitely. I’ll see you there. Have a good night.” Christen smiles.

Alex offers a wave as she shifts into drive and speeds off through the neighborhood back to her house.

***

The next day at work, a text pops up on Christen’s phone.

T: [I heard you went for a late night stroll last night.]

C: [Yeah I heard you were out late last night too.]

T: [Kinda wish I hadn’t gone out. I could have paid you back for that ride you gave me last weekend.]

C: [You going to the brewery with Alex and them later? You could pay me back with a beer.]

T: [Sounds like a deal.]

  
Five o’clock couldn’t have come any sooner. The day seemed to drag on with Christen’s attention flitting between work, house projects, and the potential of seeing Tobin later that day. Once people started filtering out of the office to start their weekend, Christen quickly shut down her computer and rushed to clean up her space and pack up.

She throws her bag in her car and walks through the parking lot to the brewery across the way. It’s nestled in an industrial building with metal silos full of grain outside. She walks through the garage door that acts as the entrance and searches through the crowded space for a few familiar faces. As she stands alone scanning the area, she feels a hand rest on her shoulder.

“Hey. Fancy seeing you here.”

She spins around to see none other than Tobin wearing a backwards SnapBack, lose-fitting long-sleeve shirt and jeans, and some rather loud and brightly colored sneakers. Christen realizes she’s just completely checked Tobin out right in front of her, and blushes a little at her obviousness. She clears her throat, hoping to mask the embarrassment in her voice. “Hey. I just walked in. Have you been here long?”

Tobin shakes her head, taking a sip of beer. “No I just got a beer. I have a table over here if you wanna sit.” She says, point in the direction of the table in question.

“Sure. Let me just grab a beer first. Anything you recommend?”

“I’ll grab it for you. I owe you, remember.” Tobin says with a wink. “What’s your poison?”

Christin smiles at this. “I’ll have what your having.”

“K, I’ll be right back. Protect the table!” Tobin yells over the crowd as she heads toward the bar.

Christen sits at the picnic table, watching strangers mill in and out like some intricately choreographed dance that they just instinctively know the steps to. Her trance is broken when she feels someone plop down next to her.

“Hey bud! How you doin’?” Kelley asks wrapping her arm around Christen’s shoulder and shaking her aggressively.

“Good!” Christen manages to get out.

“How’s the job going? Do you like it here? Is everyone being nice?” Kelley rattles off questions in a rapid-fire succession.

Christen laughs at her enthusiasm. “It’s good, it’s good. Everyone has been really nice and the projects I’m working on are pretty interesting. Thanks again for hooking me up with this job.”

Kelley blows a raspberry dismissively ”Psh, you’re a rockstar, you didn’t even need my help getting this job.”

Christen smiles bashfully “Well thanks anyway.”

Kelley looks around, seeming to notice that no one else is at the table and Christen is without a drink. “So, you want me to grab us a couple beers and I can come back and we can catch up?”

“Oh, actually Tobin’s getting me a beer. I promised to guard the table for us.” Christen says.

“Oh, I didn’t know you guys had met.” Kelley says.

“Yeah, we met at your party last weekend. I gave her a ride back to her house. She’s helping me unpack this weekend.”

“Uh huh...” Kelley hums suspiciously

“What?” Christen asks defensively, noticing that this isn’t the first time she’s gotten this reaction when talking about Tobin.

“Nothing, nothing. Is that like...a thing?” Kelley questions.

Christen shrugs “I don’t know. It’s nice having someone to talk to here. Even if it was a thing, I’m not trying to get into anything serious right now anyway.”

Kelley bobs her head as she mills over this information. “K. I just...”

Before Kelley has a chance to finish her thought, Tobin appears behind them and sets a beer down in front of Christen, sliding into the table on her other side. “Hey Kelley. What’s up.” She offers her a pat on the back as a greeting.

“Hey man. Not much. Just helping Chris hold our table for us.” Kelley offers, her demeanor shifting back to her typical exuberant self.

“Who says you’re invited to sit with us?” Tobin challenges playfully.

“Hey, if it wasn’t for me, you two wouldn’t even know each other.” Kelley retorts

“Alright I guess you can stay.” Tobin relinquishes with a dramatic sigh for effect.

“Sweet. I do need a beer though. I’ll be right back. Need anything while I’m up?” Kelley looks between the two.

“I think we’re good. Thanks Kel.” Christen responds, watching as Kelley disappears into the crowded brewery.

“Thanks for saving the table.” Tobin says as she scoots in closer to Christen.

“It was tough. There are just so many people who want to sit next to me, I had to fend off a few.” Christen jokes

“Seems like you couldn’t fend off Kelley. She’s a hard one to get rid of though, I’ll give you that.” Tobin jokes.

“Yeah, She seems to stick around.” Christen agrees.

“Not gonna lie, I was kinda bummed I’m not gonna get you all to myself for a little while.” Tobin says, taking her first drink of beer.

Christen sips her beer, hiding the smile creeping onto her face. “Looks like you’ll have to wait a little longer.” She says, looking over Tobin’s shoulder at the familiar crew of new co-workers.

Tobin turns around, following Christen’s gaze and waves at the group when she spots them. Tobin turns back to Christen “I don’t like waiting.” She pouts.

The group comes over and everyone greets each other with a wave or a hug. Alex makes a point to come over to Christen and give her a squeeze around the shoulders to make her feel welcome. While half of them go off to the bar, the rest sit down and immediately start up conversation.

Christen and Tobin soon get sucked into conversation around them, but Christen remains acutely aware of her proximity to the woman beside her. She feels the brush of Tobin’s hand over her jeans on several occasions, until finally her hand rests on top of Christen’s thigh, her fingers drawing patterns across the fabric of her jeans, daring to inch farther and farther up her leg. Christen’s mind wanders and a cloud of arousal fogs her brain until she can barely concentrate on the conversation around her.

Christen tries to make her beer last as long as possible so she doesn’t have to move from this position, but it’s Tobin who eventually starts to move to get up from her spot.

“I’m gonna get another. You want one?” Tobin asks in her ear, shaking her empty glass.

Christen gulps down the last of her lukewarm beer and shimmies out of her seat so she can get some fresh air to clear her head “Sure. Um, do you know where the bathroom is?”

“Yea, it’s over there behind those kegs. I can grab your beer. You want the same thing?” Tobin asks, taking Christen's glass from her hand.

Christen smiles as she hands her glass over to Tobin. “Surprise me. See if you can guess what I like.”

Before Christen turns toward the bathroom, she catches the smile that forms on Tobin’s lips. She laughs a little to herself, enjoying the flirtatiousness between them.

She slips into the bathroom and takes care of business, looking herself over in the mirror. She tousles her hair and straightens her shirt, feeling confident as she goes to unlock the door.

When she goes to step out of the bathroom, she jumps back in shock.

Christen grabs her heart over her chest, feeling it beating wildly. “Tobin, what the hell.”

Tobin stands in the doorway of the bathroom with a wry smile on her lips. “I told you, I don’t like to wait.”

With that, Tobin pushes Christen back into the bathroom, locking the door being her. She grabs Christin from behind the neck, forcefully bringing their lips together in a burning kiss. Christen tries to catch her breath, her mind racing as she comes to realize what’s happening. She lets herself enjoy the thrill of this heated exchange for a few moments before becoming aware enough to remember where they are.

“Tobin.” She gets out between breaths. “Tobin, hold on.” She pushes her away gently, eliciting a groan of discontentment from the brunette. “I can’t do this,...not in a bathroom.”

Tobin’s expression is indecipherable as she stands in front of Christen, breathing more heavily. “Do you want to get out of here?”

Christen nods her head. “We can go to my place.”

Tobin smiles, nodding her head vigorously in agreement. “Ok”

Christen grabs Tobin by the hand and leads them out of the bathroom, looking rather guilty to anyone passing by. They decide to avoid their group of friends and the inevitable jeers that would come their way, and exit out the side door into the parking lot.

“I’m warning you, my house is still a mess from moving.” Christen divulges.

“You should have taken me up on my offer to help you unpack sooner.” Tobin teases as they make their way through the parking lot.

“Maybe we could just unpack boxes instead of making out.” Christen suggests wryly.

Tobin doesn’t find this suggestion as funny as Christen and merely shakes her head in disapproval, causing Christen to chuckle at her reaction.

As they stand in front of Christen’s car, she leans back against the cool metal. “So you want to meet me over there?”

“Actually can I just ride with you? I took an Uber up here.”

“Yeah, sure. So when do my paychecks for being your personal shuttle service start coming in?” Christen teases as she unlocks the car and slides in.

***

As they drive, Christen doesn’t realize how long she’d been silently ruminating until she’s knocked from her inner monologue when Tobin speaks up. “I thought about you this week.”

“Oh yeah?” Christen can’t help but be intrigued by this.

“Yeah. I was kicking myself for not being there when you showed up to our house the other day.” She says, looking straight ahead.

“You didn’t have fun while you were out?” Christen tries to mask the judgement in her tone.

“It was alright.” Tobin says flatly.

“So do you go out a lot?” Christen asks hesitantly, not sure if she really wants to know the answer. The strange reactions she received from both Kelley and Alex were weighing on her, making her wonder about Tobin’s history with women.

Tobin shrugs. “I don’t know. I just go when I feel like it.”

“Well how often do you feel like it?”

“Couple nights a week maybe, or if I'm restless and just need to get out of the house for a while.” Tobin answers honestly.

“So were you feeling restless that night?”

Tobin shrugs again. “Maybe a little.”

She clicks her tongue as if she was disappointed “I just wish I had been at my house instead. I probably would have had a better night if I had.” She peels her eyes away from the windshield to look over at Christen as she finishes her thought.

Heat creeps up Christen's neck into her cheeks as she can feel Tobin's eyes on her. Christen keeps her eyes on the road, trying her best to look like she's concentrating on her driving. Luckily, Christen's house comes into view and she quickly turns into the driveway.

When the car stops, Tobin finally looks away from Christen to take in her surroundings “You live here?”

Christen gets out of the car, locking it as they make their way to the front door. “Yeah. Home sweet home.”

“You ran all the way to my house from here?" She lets out a whistle, as Christen leads her into the house for the first time.

Christen flicks on the lights as she walks through each room of her house, kicking boxes to the side to help clear a path as they go. “I know I know, it’s a mess. I haven’t had the energy to even start unpacking yet. Things have been crazy with work and the thought of starting such a huge project is just overwhelming at this point.” Christen weaves through boxes, setting her keys on the counter of the kitchen.

Tobin looks around. “No, that’s totally understandable. Moving is stressful. No judgement.”

“Thank you.” Christen says, hopping up on the counter, her feet dangling over the cabinets below. “So can I get you anything? Some water? I have some leftover Chinese food if you’re hungry.” She offers with a chuckle.

“No I'm good for now. Thanks.” Tobin leans against the counter across the kitchen from where Christen sits, her fingers tapping impatiently on the stone. “So....”

“Oh! Right.” Christen hops off the counter. “You want to see the rest of my house?” She suggests flirtatiously.

“I’d love to. Lead the way.”

Christen leads them through a hallway, pointing out rooms as she goes. “That’s the guest bedroom, there’s a bathroom here, I was thinking of putting some pictures up along the walls, just like, family photos or whatever. And here...is my bedroom.”

Christen pushes the door open, walking into the space with Tobin trailing behind her. “It looks a little ‘bachelor pad chic’ at the moment, but once I get all my furniture in here and the mattress off the floor...”

She’s interrupted by the feeling of Tobin’s mouth against her neck and arms snaking around her waist as she presses her lean frame against Christen’s from behind. Christen’s eyes close as she takes in the sensation of Tobin’s lips kissing and sucking against her neck as her fingers dance along the skin of her waist. She sighs, losing her train of thought.

“No, please continue. I wanted to hear what other furnishings you’d add to the room.” Tobin teases, breathing into Christen’s ear.

Christen’s legs start to feel a bit like jelly beneath her. “I...you’re a little distracting.” She manages to get out.

“Mmm I’m sorry. Should I stop?” Tobin latches onto Christen's neck, biting it gently.

“Please don’t.” Christen husks out.

Tobin’s hands wander from her waist down to the top of Christen’s pants, and when Christen doesn’t protest, they find their way to the ache between Christen’s legs, putting pressure there over her jeans. A sigh of pleasure escapes Christen’s lips.

She spins around to face Tobin and collects her lips in her own, letting their tongues glide against each other languidly. They stand in the middle of her bedroom panting and kissing and exploring each other’s skin until Christen has to pull away to catch her breath.

As she opens her eyes, she’s faced with Tobin inches away from her. Her lips are full and pink and swollen, parted slightly to take in deep breaths. Her eyes remain closed a few more seconds before she finally opens them and catches Christen’s gaze with her own. “That was nice.” The brunette says with a blissful smile

“Yeah. It was.” Christen nods in agreement

Silence falls between them as Christen anxiously bites the inside of her lip. “So I know you were probably expecting us to have sex or whatever...” she trails off, feeling mildly embarrassed.

This seems to catch Tobin off guard. “Oh! No—I mean, I didn’t really know what you were wanting to do.” Tobin answers honestly, trying to sound as earnest as possible.

“I just...” Christen starts but is quickly interrupted by the brunette.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I get it.”

They stand silently together, feeling the mood shift between them. “So what do you want to do the rest of the night?” Tobin asks, trying to bring some lightness to the air.

“I don’t know. How do you feel about unpacking boxes?” Christen asks with a shrug.

“Sounds like my kind of Friday night.”

***

They actually do get through a fair amount of boxes. They start in the kitchen, unloading plates and utensils, and try to match Tupperware containers to the mixed assortment of orphaned lids.

Christen opens Spotify and lets a playlist accompany their work. She’s surprised by how many pop songs Tobin knows, having pegged her for more of a hipster indie-rock kind of girl initially. They sing along to the cheesiest lines, not caring how out of tune they are or if they mess up the words. It’s nice getting to see this side of Tobin.

They get sidetracked as they work, distracted by the way Tobin’s body leans into Christen’s as she reaches around her to put away glasses, or the way Christen bends over to organize pots and pans in the lower cabinets. Each time they come together, their lips become a little more comfortable with one another and their hands get braver.

Eventually, they move back into the bedroom with the intention of unloading a few things before calling it quits for the night. Christen unpacks some sheets and blankets, shoving them into the small hallway closet just outside the bedroom door. When she returns, her eyes go wide with dread.

“No no no, not that box!” She yells in a panic.

But it’s too late, before she’s able to stop her, Tobin already has her hands inside the one box she didn’t think to set aside for later.

Tobin’s mouth drops open and a knowing smile quickly lights up her face. “Christen! What do we have here?”

“No, it’s not what you think! It’s no big deal, actually, it’s not even really mine. There’s not that much stuff...I don’t use it really.” She fumbles out in a panic

Tobin’s eyes return to the box as she picks up a black leather harness, looking it over before tossing it back in the box with a quirked brow. “Wow...I’m just impressed is all.” She moves some other items around in the box, sorting through them. “So should we arrange these in color order or by size?” Tobin’s smile stretches across her mouth wickedly.

“Oh my god!” Christen throws the nearest pillow as hard as she can at Tobin, feeling the redness burning in her cheeks.

Tobin laughs maniacally, falling onto the floor as Christen comes over to wrestle her to the ground. “Stop laughing!” She demands, straddling Tobin who’s paralyzed by laughter.

“Ok ok! I didn’t know you were such a top!” She gets out between gasping breaths.

“Uuuggghh!” Christen groans in frustration and embarassment, grabbing a pillow and smacking Tobin repeatedly with it.

“Ok ok, I give up! I give up!” Tobin relents, covering her head with her hands.

“Are you done making fun of me?” Christen asks, sweeping her hair from her face as she looks down at Tobin.

Tobin’s laughter dies down as she lays on her back on the floor, still catching her breath. “I’m not making fun of you, I swear. It’s pretty sexy actually.”

“Stop!” Christen whines, brushing the comment aside.

“I’m serious! It’s kinda hot thinking about you...what we could do with one of those things...” Tobin trails off, a glint of mischief in her eyes.

A small smile quirks across Christen’s lips before she admonishes Tobin again. “Well, we haven’t even gotten that far yet, so keep dreaming.”

“Oh I will.” Tobin says with a wink.

Christen stands up over Tobin, extending her hand to help the woman up. “Why don’t we call it a night. You’ve discovered too many embarrassing things of mine tonight. Lets keep some of the mystery alive.”

Tobin takes Christen’s hand and stands up, brushing her hair back and smoothing her shirt. “Ok, fair. I had fun with you tonight.” Tobin says as she takes Christen by the waist, pulling her closer.

“I had fun too. Minus...you know” Christen lets out a chuckle. “You want me to drive you home?”

“Sure. If you don’t mind.”

They’re in the car for only a few minutes, but Tobin doesn’t take her hand off Christen’s leg the entire drive. Christen tries to keep her eyes on the road and both hands on the wheel, but she’s forced to swat Tobin’s hand away on several occasions for venturing too far up Christen’s thigh. They arrive in front of Tobin’s house too soon, and they sit silently as the car idles in the driveway.

Wordlessly, Christen takes Tobin’s hand and brings it to her lips, kissing the delicate skin. She tugs at her arm to pull the brunette closer and they fall into a gentle kiss over the console of her car. Christen pulls away before the kiss becomes too heated, wanting to keep it sweet and simple.

“Thanks again for helping me. I appreciate it.” She whispers in the stillness.

“Any time.” Tobin gives her a smile and slowly slides out from the passenger seat. “I’ll text you later ok?” She says, leaning over the car door.

“Ok. Have a good night.” Christen calls from the driver’s side.

“I already did.” Tobin winks, shutting the car door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Questions? Concerns? Tumblr: thundercatsarego12


	3. Chapter 3

  
As Christen stares at the pixels of her computer monitor, her attention is broken by her phone buzzing against her desk.

T: [Hey, what are you doing tonight?]

C: [I don’t know. Now that I’m all unpacked, I’m not sure what to do with my nights.]

T: [Would you want to go get dinner? My treat.]

C: [You had me at dinner. What time?]

T: [How about I come get you at 7. Does that work?]

C: [Sure! See you then!]

Christen grins the rest of the day.

***

She and Tobin had made a habit of seeing each other more frequently. Christen finally figured out a running route that passed by Tobin’s house without getting lost. Every couple of days she’d run by her place and if her car was in the driveway, she’d feign exhaustion and ask for a ride home, which turned into make out sessions in the car that eventually bled into make out sessions on her front step, and then against the kitchen counter, and then on the couch.

On those nights Tobin wasn’t at home, Christen would exhaust herself on the run back to her house so she wouldn’t think too hard about where else Tobin could be. After all, it wasn’t her place to get upset about where she goes in her free time. They hadn’t talked about what they were or anything, and Christen has to remind herself that she’s just having fun anyway.

So this, the prospect of what could possibly be construed as a date, is intriguing.

Christen rushes home after work. She wants to have plenty of time to get ready and not feel rushed. She hops in the shower first to wash the smell of the office off of her, and reset. She stands in the shower, letting the warm water relax her muscles and lull her into a trance as she internally rehearses how this night may end up.

Christen bites her lip, feeling an equal amount of excitement and trepidation. She turns off the water and casts the thought aside, not wanting to overthink things and get ahead of herself.

She puts on some music as she finishes getting ready, singing along here and there to the lines of songs she knows. She decides to go with straight hair, accepting what a time commitment this will be. She knows that Tobin likes it that way, having commented on it the last time she wore it like that, so she reasons it’ll be worth it.

With her hair and makeup done, she goes to her closet to pick out an outfit. She doesn’t remember Tobin mentioning where they would get dinner, so Christen errs on the side of caution and picks a dress that’s a little nicer than her typical attire.

As she’s poking some earrings in, she hears a knock on the door. She grabs her heels from the closet and half jogs to the front, swinging the door open.

“Hi. Wow, you look great.” Tobin looks her over, grinning.

As Christen stands in the doorway, she sees Tobin in a casual button up t-shirt and jeans, her hair is down but obviously still a little wet from an earlier shower, sporting just a touch of makeup. Christen suddenly feels self-conscious about how much effort she put into her appearance.

“Sorry, I didn’t know where we were going. I’m a little overdressed. Here, give me a minute to change...”

“No!” Tobin grabs Christen by the arm before she can turn back into her house. “Please don’t. You look really good.”

Christen isn’t sure she’s ever seen the sweet, almost bashful smile painting Tobin’s face right now. It helps convince her to step out onto her porch and shut the door behind her. “So where are we going?”

Tobin offers her arm as they walk out to her car, opening the door for Christen like a true gentleman. “It’s nothing too fancy, but there’s a restaurant off 37th that I like that has really good margaritas and a live band.”

“Oooo, I could go for a margarita. It’s been a long week.” Christen jokes.

Tobin chuckles “Its’s Wednesday.”

“So? It can still be a long week by Wednesday.” Christen reasons playfully.

The drive doesn’t take them too long, but Christen can’t help but notice how many times Tobin steals a glance in her direction as they drive.

“What?” She questions with a smile

“Sorry, I can’t stop looking at you.” Tobin chuckles lightly. “Eyes on the road. Gotta get us there in one piece.” Tobin coaches herself audibly, diverting her eyes straight ahead as she grins at her shameless flirting.

Christen blushes slightly in the darkness of the passenger seat and reaches over to place her hand on Tobin’s thigh, giving it a light squeeze for reassurance.

When they pull up to the restaurant, it looks busy, but not overly crowded. They’re seated immediately and given a basket of chips and salsa to munch on while they wait. Tobin immediately orders margaritas for them, and Christen hopes they’re strong enough to loosen her up a bit and unfurl the nervous knot in her stomach. There’s a dance floor nearby with a guy standing in front of the band calling out dance instructions to the group on the floor as they go through the steps. Christen’s mesmerized by this and is thrown off when Tobin interrupts her trance.

“So how’s work going?” Tobin asks with a mouth full of chips

Christen lets out a sigh. “It’s getting better. I feel like I finally have a grasp on the programs and templates they use there. Everyone’s been really patient with me, so I’m grateful for that.”

“Whatever, you’re smart. I’m sure you picked up that stuff way faster than they expected.”

Christen hums. “Well and the other thing is that I haven’t ever worked for a big company like this. I was at a start-up before and we didn’t get all the perks and stuff that we do here. I’ve never had a gym membership as part of my salary package.”

Tobin laughs. “Not that you use it. You’re too busy jogging back and forth to my house.”

Christen rolls her eyes. “Whatever, you don’t seem to mind.”

“Nope.” Tobin takes a sip of her drink, surveying the room. “Do you run every day?”

“Um, more days than not. Why?”

“Oh, just curious how often you’re by my house. Checking to see if it’s stalker-level yet.”

Christen scoffs “Don’t flatter yourself. I only come by if I see your car in the driveway, which isn’t there that often by the way. I’m not like, waiting in the bushes for you.”

“Hmm” Tobin hums, bobbing her head to the music.

Christen can see the mood shift in Tobin’s expression. It’s more pensive than playful now. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to call you out or anything. It’s none of my business how often you’re at home.”

Tobin brushes it off. “No it’s fine. I just need to get out sometimes. Living with a roommate is great, but I just need to be alone sometimes you know?”

“Yeah, totally understandable.” Christen assures her.

A silence falls between them and for the first time, Christen doesn’t feel comfortable in it. As she clears her throat to change the subject, a man approaches the table

“Hello ladies, I was wondering if either of you would be interested in dancing?” He looks between them, holding out his hand.

Christen looks at him, then back at Tobin, unsure what she’s supposed to do.

“I’ll go.” Tobin says with a shrug, taking the man by the hand.

Christen’s shocked to say the least, watching as Tobin stands from her chair. “You’re going to dance?”

Another shrug. “What? It looks fun. You should come.”

Christen looks at her apprehensively as Tobin strides off with the man, offering her a wink.

Before Christen has too much time to feel left out, another man approaches her, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her to the dance floor. “Woah, hey. I’m not really much of a dancer.” She says to her new acquaintance.

“It’s ok, it’s pretty easy. Just follow me.” He shouts back over the music.

Christen sighs, relenting to this unexpected turn of events, and tries her best not to make a fool of herself. She catches Tobin’s gaze every so often, making sure to shoot her daggers. But Tobin just smiles at her, undoubtedly taking pleasure in her plight.

After a couple of songs, Christen gets the hang of it and feels somewhat more comfortable with the movements. Her partner doesn’t try too many fancy moves with her, which she’s grateful for. After the second song ends, Tobin approaches the pair. “Mind if I cut in?” She asks the man.

He releases Christen and Tobin slips in to take his place. “How you doing over here?” She asks

“Well, lets just say that guy might want to ice his toes tonight.” Christen jokes.

“Nah, he’s probably just stoked that he got to dance with the prettiest girl here.”

“Oh ho, I hope your dancing is as smooth as your talking.” Christen teases.

“It’s not, but I’m working on it.”

They dance to the beat, doing their best to follow the steps to the dance at first, but they eventually unravel and wind up just enjoying being close to each other on the now crowded dance floor.

They tire out eventually and retreat back to their table to order food and another round of drinks. By the end of it all, Christen’s feeling full and content, and maybe a little tipsy too as they giggle at each other from across the table, exchanging playful jabs.

Tobin settles the bill and takes Christen by the hand as they weave through the restaurant back out to the car.

“Where to now?” Tobin asks, grinning widely.

“Um, we could go back to my place if you want.” Christen propositions with a hopeful lilt in her voice.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Tobin smiles lightly.

The tone shifts from their giggly meal inside as they both settle into the realization of where this invitation might lead. A quiet reverence fills the car at the anticipation of what’s to come. Christen lets the low drone of the radio fill the silence as they drive, not wanting to ruin this feeling.

Once they get inside her house, Christen slides off her heals and slips into the kitchen, poking her head into the fridge. “You want anything to drink? I have beer, wine...”

When she doesn’t get an immediate response, she turns around to find Tobin standing in the entrance of the kitchen looking stoic.

Christen goes over to her, running her hands down Tobin’s arms “Hey you ok?”

Tobin nods her head, pausing to collect her thoughts “I just...I don’t want a drink.”

Christen’s eyes find Tobin’s. They’re dark and blown out, as if her pupils were searching for a light source. Christen takes a step closer to Tobin, feeling her heart pounds in her chest and her blood race through her body. She closes the space between them until they’re inches apart and she can feel Tobin’s breath on her lips.

“What do you want.” She whispers, already knowing the answer.

Wordlessly, Tobin’s hand reaches behind Christen’s neck, pulling their lips together. Christen can taste the alcohol on her breath as she drags her tongue across Tobin’s lips, entering her mouth to deepen the kiss. Her hands move up and down Tobin’s waist, counting the ribs beneath flexing muscle. A moan escapes Tobin’s lips, feeling Christen’s tongue sliding against her own, which only serves to fuel the fire starting in Christen’s core.

“Mmm. Bedroom.” She manages to get out between breaths.

She takes Tobin by the hand pulling her through the house.

They make it to Christen’s bedroom and Tobin’s hands quickly find Christen again in the dimly lit room. She runs them up her torso to the zipper of Christen’s dress and tugs it down at an agonizing pace. Christen wiggles her shoulders out of the dress before letting it fall to her hips and then down to the floor in a wrinkled mass.

Tobin’s mouth gapes open as her eyes scour Christen’s body. When they finally make it up to Christen’s gaze, the expectant look on her face signals Tobin to match her level of undress. Tobin’s fingers fly down the line of buttons on her shirt, fumbling only momentarily with the bottom button before ripping it off and performing a similar routine with her jeans, slipping them off unceremoniously and kicking them aside.

Standing in their underwear, Tobin and Christen stare at each other wordlessly, both somewhat overwhelmed by how quickly things had escalated. It isn’t until Christen speaks that they both are pulled from their trance.

“Come here.” She signals with a crooked finger, calling Tobin closer.

Tobin steps back into her, kissing her tenderly this time. She keeps shuffling forward until she falls on top of the bed with Christen beneath her. Trying not to break their kiss, they both scoot up the bed toward the headboard, legs and arms all crashing together in a tangled mess. At one point, Tobin loses her balance, falling on top of Christen with an “umph”.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to squish your hair.” Tobin chuckles, repositioning her arms to find her balance again.

“It’s ok. I don’t mind a little hair pulling.” Christen smiles teasingly, seeing the effect her statement had on the woman above her.

Christen’s fingers dance along bare skin, listening to the soft sighs that have started coming from Tobin’s mouth. With the brunette straddling above her, she grabs the back of Tobin’s legs, pulling her closer to get the contact she needs against Tobin’s thigh. Christen’s hips instinctively roll against Tobin and a groan of relief escapes her lips.

With their hips moving in sync, Christen’s every thrust is met by Tobin and serves only to build the tension between her legs. She can feel herself soaking her underwear, knowing that it’s the only barrier between her and pure ecstasy.

She briefly pushes Tobin away, but only long enough to remove the remaining clothing on her. She arches her back to reach around and unclasp her bra, but when it doesn’t come immediately, she starts to panic and her fingers fumble aimlessly behind her back.

“Hold on” she sits up fully, using both hands to get the uncooperative bra off of her body, and tosses it to the floor.

“Better?” Tobin questions playfully

“Yes. And this...” Christen lays back, this time raising her hips as she starts to drag her underwear down her legs. “Sorry” She says as she awkwardly brings her leg around in front of Tobin, almost kicking her in the face.

They both share a laugh, bringing some lightness to this otherwise serious moment.

Tobin sits at the end of the bed, watching in amusement as Christen shifts and gets situated once more.

“Ready?” Tobin asks with the slightest tinge of sarcasm.

“Ready.” Christen confirms.

Tobin licks her lips, smirking as she crawls up Christen’s body once more, this time, placing a trail of kisses up her stomach, through the valley of her breasts, until she nestles herself in the crook of Christen’s neck, using her lips and tongue to suck and kiss the delicate skin.

Christen sighs, feeling the weight of Tobin’s body against her. She feels Tobin drag her fingertips up the inside of her thigh, using nails to gently scratch the skin as she makes her ascent. Christen can barely contain herself with the anticipation of Tobin’s fingers belaboring the moment, teasing her to no end.

Finally, with a flick of her wrist, Tobin glances her fingers across the slickness of Christen’s core. Both women moan simultaneously at the sensation. She goes back a second time, but this time, makes sure to run her finger along Christen’s sensitive bundle of nerves, causing her to shudder with arousal.

“Oh fuck.” Christen can’t help the expletives coming from her mouth.

This reaction gives Tobin confidence and she begins swirling her fingers expertly around Christen’s clit and through her folds, exploring this new terrain.

Christen can feel her body tensing as her hips begin to keen against Tobin, begging her for more: more pressure, faster strokes, louder sighs of pleasure in her ear. She feels it all. It overwhelms her system and she loses herself in the sensation of Tobin completely satisfying her touch-starved body. Her body takes over, moaning with every breath, her muscles tensing all over. She pulls Tobin in closer with her arms circled around her back as the tension in her core reaches it’s peak.

“Fuck, keep going. I’m gonna come.”

Tobin’s fingers dance in tiny circles as Christen’s thrusts match her pace and finally, Christen feels release. Her eyes slam shut as her body quakes against the mattress, her orgasm coursing through her.

“Tobin.” She manages to sigh as she comes down against the pressure of Tobin’s hand against her. She unfurls her arms from Tobin’s body and lets them fall over her face as she catches her breath and recovers from bliss.

With her eyes still closed, she’s only partially aware of Tobin’s weight shifting and coming to rest next to her on the bed. Her fingers trace lightly against Christen’s arms and torso. “Hey, you ok?” Tobin questions in a low whisper.

Christen nods her head against the pillow. “Fuck that felt good. I needed that.” Christen exhales.

“Glad to be of service.” Tobin chuckles

Christen turns to face Tobin, repositioning her body to lay on her side. “I really liked that.”

“Me too.” Tobin agrees as her eyes follow the movement of her hand across Christen’s body.

Christen bites her lip, trying to think of a way to delicately bring up the topic weighing on her mind. “You know, this doesn’t have to mean anything.”

Tobin’s eyes rise to meet Christen’s “You mean like the sex part?”

Christen laughs awkwardly, blushing at Tobin’s crass response. “Yeah, I guess.” She fumbles to find the right words. “Sorry. I just— I just don’t want to put any pressure on you—or this.” Christen motions between them.

“So just keep it casual?” Tobin tries to connect where Christen is going with this, rolling on her back to count the blades on the ceiling fan.

“Yeah, keep it casual. Like, friends with benefits” Christen confirms, trying to exude an iota of breeziness from her clenched, anxious throat.

They lay next to each other, stewing in silence until Tobin lets out a hum. “Friends with benefits. I’ve never actually done that before.” She says with a chuckle.

“Me neither.” Christen divulges, swallowing back the apprehension in her tone.

Tobin rolls over to face her, “So how about those benefits...” She insinuates with a flirtatious smirk on her lips.

Christen smiles, licking her lips. “Yeah, we should work on those.”

***

The next day at work, Christen can’t wipe the grin off her face. She’s practically glowing as she goes about her day, smiling as she fixes her mid-morning coffee, grinning ear to ear as she files overdue expense reports. Nothing can bring her down. She gets a few confused looks from her co-workers, but they just let her have her day and don’t ask too many questions about her exceedingly good mood.

When she gets home, Christen slips out of her work clothes and into a T-shirt and leggings. Lacing up her running shoes, she smirks at the thought of a potential round two tonight with Tobin. She grabs her spare key, tucking it into her pants, and sets off on the route that’s been treaded into her memory. Her pace is a little faster than usual with this added adrenaline boosting her speed, and when she looks at her watch to track her time, she’s a little impressed with herself. She slows to a stop when she makes it to the house with the red door, hoping to find Tobin’s car in the driveway, but much to her dismay, the car is nowhere to be found. Having expended a great amount of energy on her exceedingly speedy run, Christen puts her arms above her, resting her hands on top of her head to catch her breath before she starts the discouraged jog back to her house.

Just as she’s about to turn around and start the trek home, the front door swings open and Alex emerges with a trash bag in hand, squinting in Christen's direction.

“Christen? Hey!” she calls from the driveway.

“Hey, what’s up?” Christen replies, somewhat embarrassed for being caught lurking.

Alex wipes her hands together after tossing the trash in the bin. “Oh nothing, just trying to tidy up the place before Serv gets here.”

“Oh, cool” Christen isn’t sure what else to say.

“Are you looking for Tobin?” Alex calls out

“Uh, I mean, I was just gonna say hi if she was around.” Christen tries to remain casual.

“She went out. I’m not sure what time she’ll be back.” Alex offers

“Cool--That’s cool.” Christen tries to hide the tone of how not cool it is in her voice.

It seems that Alex catches her tone and her head tilts slightly to the side. “Hey, would you want to come inside for dinner with Serv and me?”

Christen swats the air dismissively “No I don’t want to intrude...”

“Stop, you’re not. There’s plenty to go around. I could use a buffer between us tonight anyway. He’s been getting on my nerves lately.” Alex says with a laugh.

Christen pauses, contemplating her options. “Uh, Yeah ok.”

Christen walks from the street down the driveway and into the warm house. “Thanks. You really didn’t have to.”

“Chris, really, it’s no big deal. Do you want some water or anything?”

Christen looks down and remembers her attire. It’s not exactly what she would have chosen to wear to dinner. “Sure, water would be great.”

Christen sits at a bar stool against the island taking in the aroma of the homemade dinner cooking in the oven. “Whatever you’re cooking, it smells great.”

Alex moves toward the oven to check on her creation. “Thanks. Just some enchiladas.”

"I didn't know you were a cook." Christen wonders aloud.

Alex shrugs. "I'm not really. I'm just kinda starting to get the hang of cooking things that don't require a microwave. You know, adulthood..." she jokes

“Honey, I’m home.” A deep voice calls from the front of the house.

Christen spins to find Serv striding into the house, a grin plastered on his face.

“Hey, it’s Christen right?” He asks as his eyes light up in recognition.

“Yeah, good to see you again.” Christen replies.

“Likewise.”

“Christen’s having dinner with us.” Alex interjects

“Cool. I’m just gonna go change real quick. I smell like my office.” He takes a sniff of his shirt sleeve to make sure.

He makes a beeline to Alex, giving her a quick kiss before setting his jacket and briefcase on the couch nearby and heading back into one of the bedrooms.

“That’s not where those go!” Alex calls to him as he disappears down the hallway.

“I swear, that man will be the death of me.” She mutters almost to herself. “I think these are almost done. You wanna help me get all this stuff into the dining room?”

Christen helps Alex set out the various dishes prepared so they can serve themselves at the table. Serv comes back out, dressed in more casual attire, and opens a bottle of wine for them to share, handing a glass to Christen as she sits down at the table.

“Alex, this looks amazing. Thanks for letting me stay.” Christen says

“Really, it’s no big deal. I need someone besides this man-shaped trash compactor to enjoy what I cook instead of just shoveling it into their mouth as fast as possible.”

“What? It’s delicious! I can’t help it.” Serv explains with a mouth full of food.

Alex rolls her eyes, giving Christen a knowing look as they share a laugh.

“So does Tobin not usually eat with you?”Christen asks.

Alex’s eyes shift down to her plate as she scoots food around it with her fork. “Um, she does sometimes. She’s just busy a lot so she isn’t here for dinner some nights.”

“Oh. What is she doing?” Christen asks, puzzled.

“Other chicks.” Serv interjects, chuckling at his own joke. Alex pinches his arm with a scowl “Ow! What was that for?”

“Just shut up Serv.” She warns with a growl.

Christen’s stomach twists inside her and she suddenly doesn’t feel hungry anymore. She takes a long sip of wine and busies herself with pushing food absentmindedly around her plate.

Alex silently shoots Serv a death glare before turning her attention back to Christen. “He didn’t mean that. He’s just being dumb.”

“No it doesn’t matter. It’s not really any of my business. We just--it’s no big deal.” Christen tries to mask the hurt in her voice with an aloof lightness that isn’t fooling anyone.

She can feel Alex’s eyes looking her over, trying to decide if she should push it further, but thankfully, Alex leaves it be and graciously changes the subject. “So did you hear they fired that marketing manager at work?”

***

The rest of the night goes well as they tip toe around the subject of Alex’s absent roommate. The bottle of wine is quickly finished between the three of them, and as Serv offers to open another bottle, Christen looks to check the time and has to decline the invitation to stay.

“I really should get going. I’m not going to be able to make it home if I have another glass. I’ll fall into the bushes or something.”

Alex looks at her, confused for a moment, until the lightbulb goes off in her head. “Oh that’s right, I forgot you ran here. No, I’m driving you home. Let me just grab my keys.”

As Alex rushes through the house, Christen turns back to Serv, who’s busy clearing off the table. “Thanks again for letting me crash your dinner. It was really good.”

“Any time.” He offers her a genuine smile and Christen knows he means it.

Alex strides back into the room, keys jangling in her hand. “Ok ready?”

They walk together to the front of the house, but as Alex opens the front door, two entangled bodies stand in the doorway, blocking their exit. Christen watches as Tobin detaches her lips from the woman wrapped in her arms to look and see who interrupted their embrace. Tobin’s eyes find Alex first, but she remains fairly unfazed, until her eyes flit over Alex’s shoulder to see Christen standing behind her roommate. Tobin’s eyes shoot open and she immediately jumps away from the woman, retracting her arms to run her hands through her hair and over her face anxiously.

“Uh, hey guys.” The brunette offers lamely. “What are you guys up to?” An unmistakable sound of guilt laces her voice.

“I’m just driving Christen home. She came over for dinner. Excuse us.” Alex pushes past the pair still standing idly in the porch.

Christen follows, trying to avoid eye contact as she shuffles around the women.

“Hey Chris.” Tobin offers weakly.

Christen makes eye contact with the sullen looking Tobin. She swallows hard “Hey...have a good night.” She brushes past, following Alex to her car.

Closing the door to the running car, Christen sinks into her seat as she tries to remain calm. She silently picks at her fingernails, looking down into her lap as Alex pulls out of the driveway onto the street.

“I’m sorry Christen.” Alex finally offers.

“It’s ok. It’s not your fault or anything.“ Christen says into her lap.

“Yeah but you shouldn’t have to see that.”

“Well—Tobin’s—we’re not together. She can do what she wants. We’re just having fun.” Christen explains to try and convince both women in the car that she shouldn’t be upset.

“Still...” Alex sighs.

The rest of the drive is silent with the exception of Christen pointing out which streets to take to get her back to her house. When they pull up, Alex puts the car in park and unlatches her seatbelt. She leans over the console, pulling Christen into an awkward but well meaning hug. “She’s stupid. I know you’re just having fun, but she needs to figure her shit out. You're too good for that.”

Christen lets out a muffled sigh into Alex’s shoulder. “Thanks Alex.”

They release and Alex offers her slight smile of support as she watches Christen maneuver out of the car and into her house.

Once inside, Christen numbly walks through her bedroom and into her bathroom, hoping a hot shower will help her sort out how she’s supposed to feel about the whole situation. She stands in the shower, deep in thought, until the water turns cold and she’s forced out of the steam-filled room.

With a towel wrapped around her, she sits on her bed and goes to set her alarm for the next morning. As she unlocks her phone, she sees a text from Tobin waiting for her.

T: [hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d be coming over. I fucked up.]

C: [you don’t need to apologize. I’m not your girlfriend, you can do what you want]

Christen sighs, feeling like she’s explaining this away for the hundredth time time tonight. She tosses her phone on the night stand and tries to ignore it as it buzzes against the wooden surface. She doesn’t want to see what Tobin has to say. At this point, she’s too exhausted from the emotional gymnastics she’s done tonight to invest any more energy into processing how she feels about this situation. She shuts her eyes in an attempt to force sleep to come, and tries not to let thoughts of Tobin into her mind.

***

Christen changes her running route, not only because she doesn’t want to know whether Tobin is at home or not, but also because all this running has significantly increased her endurance. Now, she needs something a little more challenging to get to the same level of mind-numbing exhaustion to help her clear out the thoughts in her mind.

The rhythm of her feet on the pavement lulls her into a trace as her mind goes blank. Her lungs match pace with her legs and her breaths come in and out steadily. She doesn’t keep track of how long she goes anymore. It doesn’t really matter. She just wants some respite from the madness of the word around her.

So when Kelley asks if she want to do a trail run with her one Saturday morning, Christen’s hesitant to share this piece of peace she’d been enjoying in solitude up until this point.

“How’s work going?” Kelley asks as they jog side by side through the brush.

“It’s good. I think I’ve finally figured out the systems and everyone’s names. I still get Thomas and Terran mixed up though. Are they like, brothers or something?” Christen asks

“No, but they went as zombie twins for the costume contest last Halloween. They got third I think. Alex and I were pissed. We went as Burt and Ernie. Didn’t even place! Who doesn’t enjoy vaguely homosexual puppet roommates from your childhood?” Kelley recalls, catching her breath a little.

“I would have voted for you.” Christen assures her.

“Thanks. Hey, speaking of Alex and homosexual roommates, how are things with Tobin? Last I heard, you guys were hitting it off.”

“Oh. Yeah, we’re just, like, keeping it casual you know. I’m not really looking for a relationship or anything.” Christen tries to deflect.

“Christen, when have you ever been a ‘casual dating’ kind of person? For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve always been a serial monogamist.” Kelley challenges with a chuckle

“I can try new things you know! I’m not like some pathetic girl who always needs a girlfriend.” She says with a bite of bitterness.

“Calm down Press, it was just an observation. Don’t get defensive. I was just asking cus Tobin seems pretty into you.”

Christen’s quiet, letting Kelley’s words simmer between them. Kelley seems to pick up on the disgruntled vibe.

“You ok? I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Kelley interjects after a few moments

“Yeah. It’s just—I thought Tobin liked me too. But then last week I was eating dinner with Alex at her house, and Tobin walks in with this girl draped all over her.”

Kelley hums in response, but doesn’t say anything, which Christen finds odd.

“What? Is that not supposed to make me a little upset?” Christen asks defensively.

“No no no. I get it. It’s just—Tobin’s Tobin.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know. She just kinda lets life come at her. She doesn’t plan stuff, she doesn’t commit to anything. I promise she didn’t do anything to hurt you on purpose.”

“What, so I’m just supposed to be ok with dating her while she’s sleeping with other people.”

“Hate to break it to you, but that’s what casual dating is.”

Christen stews silently, having been shut down by Kelley’s reasoning.

“So does she know you want to be more than just casual?” Kelley asks

“I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it.” Christen responds

“Maybe You should. She might surprise you.” Kelley offers

Christen doesn’t respond and instead mulls it over internally.

They continue to jog at a steady pace, weaving around rocks and trees as Christen silently contemplate this new perspective.

“Damn Press, you training for a marathon or something?”

Christen looks over her shoulder to see Kelly’s face flushed and covered in sweat as she sucks in air, trying to keep pace.

“I never thought I’d see the day when I beat you in an endurance race.” Christen teases.

“Oh, the run’s not over yet.” Kelley calls out as a new look of determination washes over her and she speeds up to pass Christen, pushing her aside playfully as they continue their run.

***

C: [Hey stranger. Can we hang out?]

T:[Hey. Yeah definitely! What are you doing tonight?]

C: [haven’t planned anything...]

T: [Why don’t you come to my place after work. I think we should probably talk about some stuff anyway.]

C:[Ok. I’ll text you when I’m on my way over]

Christen pulls up to the familiar house with the red door and takes a deep breath to calm her nerves. She had rehearsed this conversation a million times in her head, but it didn’t do much to make her feel any less anxious about seeing the brunette again.

As she stands at the door about to knock, the porch light flicks on and the door swings open. Christen jumps back in surprise

“Hey! Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Tobin says with a chuckle after seeing Christen’s wide eyes.

“It’s ok.” Christen smiles, trying to mask the embarrassment she feels in the moment.

“Um, here, come in.” Tobin moves aside to let Christen breeze by her and into the house.

Christen hears the door click behind her but Tobin makes no move to shift from her spot. There’s an awkward tension filling the air.

Christen had rehearsed over and over what she wanted to say to Tobin, but standing in front of her now, seeing how tense and apprehensive Tobin looks leaning against the door, Christen can’t find the words.

Finally, Tobin clears her throat “I um—I wanted to apologize for the other night.”

Christen shrugs “It’s ok. We never said we were exclusive.”

“I know, but it’s still not a great feeling to have that thrown in your face.” Tobin looks down at her shoes, tracing an invisible pattern with her toes.

“No, it’s not.” Christen agrees despairingly.

“So—I think we need to like—figure out where we are. I mean, like where we stand with each other. I don’t want to do something to make you feel shitty again.”

Christen nods in agreement.

Tobin pushes herself off from the door and walks toward Christen. “Let’s figure this out with a beer in hand at least.”

As they sit on the couch sipping their beers, still tip toeing around the topic of their non-relationship, Christen asks Tobin pointedly. “Have you been sleeping with other people the whole time we were seeing each other? I’m not mad or anything, just curious.” She tries to ask gingerly.

Tobin takes a swig of beer as she collects her thoughts “Well...yeah I guess so. I was still going out and meeting people.”

“Ok” Christen swallows stiffly.

“But you’re the only person I’m seeing consistently. The rest of the girls I’ve been with were just kinda for fun or whatever.”

“So I’m not fun?” Christen asks only half kidding.

Tobin rolls her eyes. “Oh come on, you know that’s not true. Of course you’re fun. And interesting, and smart, and sexy. It’s why I keep coming back to you.”

Christen sits, contemplating Tobin’s response. “So if I’m so interesting, why see other girls?”

Christen can hear the defensiveness in her voice. She hates it. She hates that she sounds so pathetic and desperate, but she can't help the jealousy that's been creeping in.

“I don’t know. That’s just kinda how I’ve always operated.—Do you want me to stop seeing other girls? I thought you were cool with the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing” Tobin says, leaning forward on the couch toward Christen.

Christen sighs. “ I was- I am! I just—I don’t know what I want.” She growls to herself, her frustration starting to come through.

Tobin sighs, leaning back on the couch, bringing the bottle to her lips again as the gears turn in her head. “I thought we were just, you know, keeping things casual.”

“I know, I know.” Christen says with her head in her hands, frustrated by her inability to be as detached and aloof as Tobin.

“Do you need some time to figure it out? I can leave you alone if that’s what you need...”

“No, no. I like hanging out with you. Actually, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me since I moved here.” Christen divulges quietly, hoping her admission doesn’t come off as needy.

Tobin just looks at her, smiling, like she doesn’t know what else to do. “I like hanging out with you too.”

Tobin shifts forward, resting her hand on Christen’s knee. “You don’t have to decide what to do tonight. But if you want something more serious, I think you need to take some time to figure that out. I don’t want to be a jerk, I just want to let you know where I stand in all this. I’ll be around if you still want to see me, but I can’t promise you’ll be the only person I see, at least not until you tell me otherwise.”

Tobin stands up, bending over to kiss the top of Christen’s head affectionately “I’m sorry, I know I’m not making this any easier.”

Christen swallows hard, trying to fight back her emotions. “No I know. You’re just being honest with me. I appreciate that.”

Tobin bobs her head in acknowledgement. “I’m just gonna run to the bathroom. You want to grab another beer or something?”

Christen looks at her barely touched beer and sets in on the coffee table in front of her. “Actually, I should probably get home. I need to start dinner and call my mom back...”

“Yeah—Yeah totally.” Tobin says with her hand rubbing the back of her neck, shifting her weight back and forth uncomfortably.

An awkward tension fills the room as they both shuffle toward the front door. “So I’ll text you later?” Tobin states in a questioning tone.

“Yeah. I’ll be around.” Christen responds with her best ambivalence.

“Alright. Well—have a good night.” Tobin leans in to place a kiss to Christen’s lips but catches herself, deciding to detour and plant at kiss on her cheek instead.

Christen lets out an audible sigh before stepping through the door to head to her car. “Bye.”

She watches as Tobin waves one last time before closing the door behind her and flicking off the porch light.

Christen sinks into her car, letting her body run on autopilot as it drives her home. Maybe Kelley was right. Maybe she is a serial monogamist, and keeping things casual just isn’t in the cards for her. But if that’s the case, does that mean Tobin’s not in the cards for her either? Is Tobin willing to give up her lifestyle for a girl she met just a few weeks ago? Is it selfish to ask her to?

All these questions swirl in Christen’s mind as she lays down and pulls the covers up to her chin, urging her body to shut her brain off for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you berate me for making Tobin kinda a dick, know that a.) it’s a preath fanfic, things will work out in the end, and b.) hook-up culture is a thing that happens in real life and I wanted to write a story where things are messy and weird and hard to navigate.


	4. Chapter 4

Christen didn’t run the whole week. She didn’t have time. She was traveling back to California for a few days to visit her family for Christmas and she had yet to finish her Christmas shopping. Normally, she would have already had her shopping done the week after thanksgiving, but between the move, her new job, and all the stuff going on with Tobin, Christen never found a chance to figure out her gift list.

So as she fights the crowds of the shopping center just the day before her flight out, she’s a little more than frazzled as she answers her phone.

“Yeah?” She answers with a tinge of annoyance in her tone.

“Hey, it’s Tobin—Sorry, is this a bad time?” She asks, hearing the bite in Christen’s voice.

“Oh, hey Tobin. Sorry, I thought you were my sister calling for the twelfth time today.” Christen calms a little, letting out an exhausted chuckle.

“Oh no worries. Nothing like the holidays to make everyone feel jolly.” Tobin jokes sarcastically.

“So what’s up?” Christen asks, wondering why Tobin is calling her out of the blue. She had been radio silent since their talk four nights ago and Christen was starting to wonder if Tobin had determined that Christen wasn’t worth the trouble after all.

“Oh, I was just wondering what you were up to—see if you had plans for the holidays.” Tobin asked, somewhat bashfully.

“Yeah, I’m actually headed out to California to see my family tomorrow afternoon. I’m still trying to finish some last minute shopping.” Christen says as she eyes a knife set for her sister who had recently become obsessed with the food network.

“Last minute shopping? I pegged you for a Black Friday, one day and done, kind of shopper.” Tobin jokes

“Any other year you’d be correct, but I had kind of a busy couple of months with the move, the job...you.” Christen trails off.

“Me?! What did I do?” Tobin squeaks over the phone.

Christen laughs at her reaction. “Yeah you. I’ve told you before, you can be very distracting.”

“Sorry I’m not sorry.” Tobin boasts. “Any chance you’d let me distract you tonight after you finish shopping?”

“As long as it involves sitting on my couch with a bottle of wine, you got yourself a deal.” Christen sighs, tossing a memory foam pillow into her cart for her dad and his bad neck.

“Sounds fair to me. I have a big family, I know how much energy wrapping presents takes. You want to just text me when you’re done?” Tobin proposes.

“Sure, I’ll text you in a bit.”

“K, see you soon.” Christen hangs up and slides her phone back in her pocket, regarding her basket of poorly planned presents, resigning herself to the fact that she won’t be wowing anyone with her gift selection this year.

***

Yards of tape and several paper cuts later, Christen leans back against her couch as she sits on the floor of her living room, sliding presents across the carpet with her foot into a pile. She takes a look at the clock and realizes she hadn’t eaten since breakfast. Now pushing seven o’clock, her stomach growls loud enough that she can’t ignore it anymore.

She texts Tobin as she stuffs her mouth full of peanut butter to tide her over until she can make a more suitable meal.

Shortly after Christen texts her, Tobin arrives at her door with a bottle of wine and giant holiday-themed cylindrical tin slung under her arm. “Hey, I brought the goods.”

Christen looks her over with a quirked brow “I understand the wine, but what the hell is that?”

Christen bolts the door behind Tobin who walks into the kitchen and sets the wine and tin on the counter. “It’s a giant tin of popcorn! You’ve never seen one of these before?”

“No...” Christen says, still rather confused.

“I always get random holiday gifts from clients so I thought I’d share the wealth. I figured it would come in handy if we watch a movie or something tonight.” She opens the tin. “Look, there’s regular butter, cheddar, and caramel. I like mixing them all together, but my brother always ate all the cheddar when we got these as kids so I never could.” She recounts fondly, a nostalgic twinkle in her eye.

“Why does anyone need five pounds of popcorn though?” Christen asks, still unconvinced about the greatness of this simple snack.

“Come on it’s part of the holiday spirit!” She says, taking a handful of caramel popcorn and shoving it in her mouth.

Christen chuckles and takes a handful and shovels it in her mouth to fill her mostly empty stomach.

“See, pretty good.” Tobin says, her speech muffled by the kernels filling her mouth.

They laugh at the sight of each other, both standing in the kitchen with their cheeks bulging like hamsters.

Tobin swallows her mouthful before asking “So you want to watch a movie or something? You have Netflix right?”

“Yeah, that sounds great actually. I’m so brain dead. Crowded shopping malls full of last minute shoppers is like my own personal hell.”

Tobin glides around the kitchen, grabbing a wine key and glasses, knowing exactly where they are since she helped unpack and organize that very kitchen only a few weeks ago. “Well you go sit and pick out a movie and I can get this wine going.”

“Deal. And use the big glasses, god knows I need it!” Christen calls as she makes her way into the living room.

When Tobin returns, she hands Christen her glass, nearly full to the brim with wine and sets the tin of popcorn at her feet, just in case they need a snack.

Christen picks the first movie that sounds interesting and they settle into the couch silently sipping from their glasses.

They start out the movie like strangers, sitting a cushion away from one another at opposite ends of the couch. Neither feel like testing their boundaries right off the bat, so the first ten minutes of the movie are watched innocently, glancing sporadically at the other from the corners of their eyes.

As Christen’s wine glass starts to empty, she leans over the couch to grab handful after handful of popcorn from the tin resting near Tobin’s feet until she relents and scoots over a cushion to get closer to her sorry excuse for dinner. She doesn’t mind the way Tobin leans into her as they sit side by side either.

By the time both of their glasses are empty, Christen had given up on trying to give Tobin space, and lays with her head on Tobin’s shoulder, stroking her arm and twirling the ring on Tobin’s finger aimlessly.

Christen sits up briefly and checks on her empty wine class, hoping by some divine intervention that it had magically refilled as they sit on the couch only half paying attention to the movie playing.

With an exasperated sigh, Christen gets up and grabs their glasses. ”I’m going in for another glass. Wanna kill the bottle with me.”

“Yeah, I’ll have another.” Tobin calls from her seat on the couch.

Christen sways a bit in the kitchen, the wine hitting her a little harder than usual since she hadn’t eaten a solid meal all day. She drains the bottle between the two glasses and brings them over.

As she comes around the back of the couch, she stands and admires Tobin’s profile, lit only by the flickering light of the television. Tobin doesn’t seem to notice Christen watching her as she sits biting the inside of her cheek with her eyes fixed straight ahead.

Christen takes a few steps to put the wine glasses on the coffee table in front of them, but doesn’t make any move to sit down. Instead she stands in front of Tobin wordlessly, her eyes searching the woman, taking in her beautiful features.

“Chris? You ok?” Tobin asks with a genuine look of concern on her face.

Christen doesn’t answer. As if pulled by a string, she takes a step into Tobin and lowers herself to straddle Tobin’s lap. Tobin responds in kind by pulling Christen in closer, wrapping her hands around her thighs until there’s barely an inch between them.

Christen places her hands delicately on either side of Tobin’s neck, caressing her cutting jawline with the pads of her thumbs and leans in to take her lips between her own.

Tobin lets out and audible sigh as she squeezes Christen’s ass roughly. Christen had missed her touch, and judging by the way she claws at Christen's jeans as her hands run up and down her thighs, Tobin had missed this too.Christen’s hips instinctively keen into Tobin, eliciting yet another moan between them as their lips move voraciously against each other. She rocks into Tobin, eager to feel the pleasure she knows Tobin can provide her.

Then without warning, Tobin repositions her grip on Christen’s ass and Christen feels herself being lifted off the couch. She tightens her grip around Tobin’s shoulders to relieve some of her weight, but Tobin doesn’t seem to need the help as she easily maneuvers them through the living room and into the bedroom without breaking their kiss.

Christen would be lying if she said this primitive display of brut strength didn’t turn her on even more.

By the time Tobin throws her on the bed, the veins in her arms are noticeable and her biceps twitch and bulge beneath her T-shirt from recent use. Christen’s eyes are fixed on them, her mouth practically watering.

Sensing her desire, Tobin grabs at the hem of her shirt and pulls it off of herself in one fluid motion, revealing her lean frame beneath, and stands at the edge of the bed for Christen to behold her with a cocky grin plastered on her face. Christen rises from her spot and crawls on her knees to the edge of the bed where Tobin stands. She runs her hands down Tobin’s arms, unable to just look at them anymore. Her fingers tickle the tanned skin and make their way across her broad shoulders and down the midline of her torso, feeling the way her abs flex beneath her fingertips.

Tobin recoils slightly. “Ah, I’m a little ticklish.”

Christen smiles at this, the facade of the stoic sex goddess before her cracking just a little bit. Christen uses this break in her focus to her advantage and pulls Tobin onto the bed with her, straddling her once more to tear open the button of her jeans and shimmy them down her legs.

Now just in her underwear, Christen looks Tobin over, unable to bite back the smirk on her lips at the sight of her perfect body. Tobin smirks confidently too, proud of the effect she has on the woman above her.

“You’re a bit overdressed, don’t you think?” Tobin teases, breaking Christen from her trance as she tugs at the bottom of her shirt.

Shaking the cloud of arousal from her mind, she takes Tobin’s subtle hint and removes her clothing to match Tobin’s state of undress. As she sits up on her knees, Christen pulls her hair up into a ponytail, making it known she means business. She leans back in to kiss Tobin roughly, enjoying to way she can feel Tobin writhing beneath her as bare skin grazes bare skin. She detaches from Tobin’s mouth to kiss down her neck and across her chest, making sure to tease the taught nipples hiding behind the elastic of Tobin’s sports bra.

Rather unceremoniously, Tobin rips off her bra, needing to feel Christen’s wet hot tongue slide against her nipples. She guides Christen’s head back to her chest, moaning at the way Christen swirls her tongue around the hardened bud before biting it ever so gently.

Her back arches off the bed, thrusting her breast harder into Christen’s mouth “fuck” she groans. “Chris, touch me, please.”

With Tobin sighing and writhing beneath her, it’s hard for Christen to stop herself from diving straight in, but the idea that’s been simmering in the back of her mind since the first time they fooled around in her house nags at her and causes her to retract momentarily.

As she sits up, Tobin looks at her with desperation and betrayal. “What’s wrong?” She breaths out, propping herself up on her elbows.

Christen bites her lip, gathering the courage she needs to reveal what she’s been fantasizing about the last few weeks. “Remember that box you found in my room when you were helping me unpack? The one with...things in it?”

Tobin lets out a chuckle, crinkling her brow, curious as to where she’s going with this. “Yeah. How could I forget?”

Christen twirls a lock of Tobin’s hair between her fingers, unable to make eye contact with the woman beneath her. “Well, I was thinking—what if we—would you want to—I don’t know, use something in there?” She asks with a grimace, hoping she’s not crossing a line.

Tobin’s brows raise in surprise initially, but a smile quickly settles on her lips. “Yeah, ok.”

“Ok?” Christen asks to confirm in case she had misunderstood.

“Yeah, lets do it.” Tobin says more confidently.

Christen smiles, leaning down to kiss Tobin before hoping off the bed and bounding into the bathroom. “Hold on, I’ll be right back.” She says from the doorway of her en suite.

She fumbles through a drawer, rooting through the various trinkets until she finds the black harness she’d hidden away after Tobin had stumbled upon it several weeks ago. She pulls it on, fumbling with the twisted straps until it’s mostly secure around her. She then pulls out one of her less intimidating toys, not wanting to overwhelm Tobin on their first attempt at this.

She positions it in the ring and finishes tightening the straps. She grabs a small bottle of lube for good measure and takes a deep breath before heading back into the bedroom to present herself and her new hardwear to Tobin.

As the exits the bathroom, she can’t hold back the smile of anticipation on her lips. “Ok, ready.”

This gets Tobin’s attention as her head shoots up to find Christen in the doorway. But instead of the excited smile she was expecting, Tobin’s face twists in confusion. “Uh, I thought—when you said—you want to...you want to top me?”

Now Christen’s thoroughly confused. “Well, yeah... I thought you—I mean, I thought it was kinda obvious. Did you think you were gonna top me?” Christen asks

“I mean, yeah. I thought it was kinda obvious.” Tobin teases, starting to see the humor in this exchange.

Christen sighs with a smile, covering her face with her hand. “Oh my god.”

The both start laughing at their poorly timed miscommunication.

“Come here.” Tobin beckons, her laughter dying down.

Christen makes her way over to the bed and sits down next to Tobin, feeling a little ridiculous with the silicon member bouncing between her legs.

”Ugh, I’m sorry. I feel so dumb.” Christen says with a chuckle

While Christen's rolling her eyes at herself, Tobin takes the lubricant from Christen’s hand and squeezes some into her own. Slowly, she wraps her hand around the shaft, working her way up and down to thoroughly coat it.

Christen watches silently, swallows roughly. Suddenly, she doesn't feel so ridiculous anymore.

Tobin’s gaze shifts back up to Christen’s eyes. “Just cus I can’t top you, doesn’t mean I don’t want to fuck you.”

With her mouth agape, Christen watches in awe as Tobin slides off her underwear, extending her arm to gently push Christen back onto the bed. Tobin swings her leg over Christen, leaning in to kiss her passionately. Her tongue glides in and out of Christen’s mouth, distracting her from the way she guides the toy to her entrance before lowering herself onto it slowly.

It doesn't take long for both of them to fully enjoy the way their bodies work simultaneously, taking cues from the subtle movements and sighs elicited by the other. Christen can't keep her eyes off the way Tobin rides her, watching her lips part as sighs of pleasure fall from her mouth, her brows knit together as she focuses on euphoria. It had been so long since Christen had experienced this level of intimacy with someone. The realization almost takes her out of the moment, but the thought is fleeting as she watches the woman above her reach her peak, spurring release from Christen as well.

As she comes down from climax, Tobin falls off of Christen, overwhelmed and out of breath. A sheen of sweat covers her body from the workout it just endured.

“Holy shit.” She wonders aloud. “Fuck, that was incredible.”

Christen smiles, still recovering from her own orgasm. “Agreed” She manages to get out between breaths.

“I wouldn’t have pegged you for a top.” Tobin says with a chuckle.

“Well, technically, you were on top.” Christen muses.

“Did you come too?” Tobin questions, looking over at the woman.

“Yeah.” Christen smiles back at her

“Good. I want you to feel as good as I do right now.” Tobin says, grabbing Christen’s hand and bringing it to her lips to place a kiss there.

“Well that’s very kind of you.” Christen teases.

They lay side by side in silence, soaking up the moment while they have it, their ragged breathing returning to a more normal pace.

“I wish you didn’t have to go tomorrow.” Tobin says, her voice just above a whisper.

“Are you not going anywhere for Christmas?” Christen asks curiously.

“Nah. My family and I don’t talk much these days, so I’ll probably just stick around here and hang out in my pajamas all day.” Tobin says, distracting herself by lacing Christen's fingers through her own.

“Oh, I’m sorry. You know, if you wanted, you could come with me. I'm sure there are standby flights and...”

“Don’t.” Tobin interrupts her.

“Don’t what.” Christen asks, a little caught of guard by Tobin's sharp reaction.

“Don’t invite me to your family’s Christmas.” Tobin says flatly

“I was just trying to...”

“I know.” Tobin interrupts again. “You’re just trying to be nice, but it’s really not a big deal. I usually hang out with Alex and Serv on Christmas morning and bug them, so it’s not like I’ll be alone.”

“Oh, ok” Christen says, feeling embarrassed that she had asked Tobin without thinking. “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. I didn’t know.”

“It’s ok. Like I said, no big deal.” Tobin says, her eyes fixed to the ceiling.

Silence falls between them, and Christen shimmies out of the harness and gets out of bed to clean it and put it away in the bathroom a few paces away. As she tosses it in her drawer, she catches Tobin’s reflection in the mirror, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed over her still bare chest.

“I had a good night with you.” She offers with a small smile.

They lock eyes in the reflection of the mirror and Christen smiles back weakly. “I had fun too.”

“I know your flight’s tomorrow. Do you want me to go so you can finish packing and stuff? I don’t want to be in the way.” Tobin asks. “Or I can stay...doesn’t matter.”

Christen shrugs. “Doesn’t matter. Whatever you wanna do.”

They stand quietly regarding each other. Tobin tries to silently read Christen’s mind to figure out the right answer, or wait for a signal of what she should do, but Christen gives her nothing and turns back to the sink. For as intimate as they could be physically, Christen still can't figure out how she's supposed to act around the ambivalent brunette, so she closes herself off, hoping her anguish isn't distinguishable as she stands naked in the bathroom, avoiding eye contact.

Finally, Tobin lets out a small sigh, signaling defeat. “Ok, well I guess I’ll head home so you can pack and get ready for your trip.” Tobin comes up behind Christen, placing her hands on her bare hips and kissing her shoulder before turning back into the bedroom to gather her clothing.

Christen’s head drops as she leans against the sink, letting out a sigh. She shuts the drawer and goes back into the bedroom, putting her shirt and underwear on in an attempt to feel less vulnerable.

“I’m glad you came over.” She offers, watching as Tobin pulls her clothing back on.

“Yeah, me too.” Tobin says as she struggles to shove her feet into her shoes without untying them.

“So I guess I’ll call you when I get back?” Christen asks hesitantly.

“Sure, sounds good” Tobin says, still distracted by her shoes.

Christen hands Tobin her phone that had slipped out of the pocket of her jeans. “Thanks.” Tobin says, taking it from Christen and shoving it back in her pocket.

They walk toward the front door and pause there, both waiting for the other to initiate something. “So, I guess I’ll see you when I get back.” Christen draws out.

“Yeah. I’ll be here.” Tobin responds plainly.

Christen leans into Tobin, giving her a gentle kiss, hoping Tobin doesn't taste the sadness in it. “Have a good Christmas.”

Despite the tension, she can feel Tobin smile against her lips. “You too.”

Tobin leans in for another brief kiss before opening the door to leave. With a small smile, Tobin shuts the door behind her and heads back up the sidewalk to her car to drive home.

Now alone in her house, Christen leans back against the door, letting out a long sigh and whispers to herself, “What the fuck am I doing?”

***

Christmas goes about as well as it usually does. There's the frantic retrieval of all the sisters at the airport on the same day which involves waiting around at baggage claim for hours and loitering at the one shop there, thumbing through magazines they have no intention of buying. Luckily, Christen is the last to arrive, so she doesn't have to endure this particular family tradition this year.

They arrive home and reclaim their childhood bedrooms, recounting the stories that go along with all the trophies, pictures, and certificates that line the walls. The parents cook dinner while the siblings get to catch up, talking over each other as they lounge on the couches in the living room.After dinner, it's a similar scene, but this time, parents get involved and they stay up until their eyes are hazy and their bodies cry for sleep.

Christmas day is a lazy scene. The unwrapping of presents doesn't take nearly as long and isn't quite as magical now that all the children have grown. It's mostly a smattering of gag gifts and gift cards that are easily packed into carry-on luggage.With the town practically shut down, Christen and her family stay inside, busied with the few things requiring assembly. She spends the morning reading directions to set up the universal remote her dad received as a present from her mom so that he would only have one remote to look for when he watches tv. It's really a gift for both of them. When they finally figure it out after nearly an hour of trouble-shooting, Christen snaps a quick video and sends it to Tobin to document her success.

She gets a thumbs up and "Merry Christmas" in return. It isn't quite the thoughtful response she was hoping for, but it's quickly followed up by a picture of Tobin, Alex, and Serv in matching onsies. They spend the rest of the day texting back and forth, which doesn't go unnoticed by Christen's sister.

  
"Who are you texting?" Channing asks as she plops onto the couch next to Christen

"Just a friend" Christen responds, still looking at her phone with a grin on her face.

"They must be a good friend to be texting you all day on Christmas." Channing says with suspicion.

"Yeah, we're pretty close." Christen responds dismissively, hoping her sister will drop it. She doesn't.

"Does this 'friend' have a name?" She asks

"Tobin"

"What kind of a name is Tobin?"

"I like her name. It's original. It suites her." Christen defends with a small smile at the thought.

Channing looks her sister over with a wary gaze and Christen can feel her eyes on her.

Christen lets out a sigh "What? Is there something I can help you with?" Christen bites, feeling the annoyance of being cooped up in a house with family starting to get to her.

"Nothing! God, don't get so defensive. I just wanted to know if you made any new friends since you moved." Channing retorts

"Well I have! I'm not as sad and pathetic as everyone thinks." She spits out.

"No one was saying that! I just know how unhappy you were before you moved...Just seems like you're happier now and I wanted to see who was making you happier. Sorry for being invested in my sister's emotional well-being!" She says sarcastically

Christen's tough exterior cracks as she rolls her eyes with a smile. "I am happier."

"I can tell." Channing smiles mischievously. "Is there any other reason you might be happier? like a girlfriend or something?" she pries.

Christen tosses a nearby pillow at her. "Don't we have another sister you could bother?"

"Yeah but she's not as fun to mess with." Channing teases.

Christen gives her a pointed look and Channing relents. "Fine, I don't actually want to hear about your sex life anyway. Uuck." she gags with a shudder for effect.

Channing pulls out her own phone, indicating she had let it go, but Christen knows that her sister can read her like a book, and she'd likely already figured out that Tobin is more than just 'a friend' to Christen. Channing's annoyingly intuitive.

"Dinner's almost ready! Girls, can you come set the table?" Her mother calls from the kitchen.

The sisters eyes dart to each other "Not it!" they call out at the same time.

"I won!" Christen declares

"No you didn't! It was a tie!" Channing defends

"Tie goes to the oldest!" Christen says, pushing Channing off the couch with her feet.

"Ew get your cold gross feet off me!" she yells, pushing Christen's legs forcefully off of her.

"Set the table and I will!" Christen says as she cackles at her sister's expense.

****

After a long and crowded flight back home, Christen rolls her luggage behind her as she flicks on the lights to her house and latches the door shut behind her. Exhausted from the late flight, She wheels the bag into her room and unzips it to grab her toiletries bag from inside, promising herself that she'll unpack the rest of it tomorrow when she isn't so worn out.

She heads to the bathroom to shower and wash off the smell of recycled air from her skin and hair, brushing her teeth as well while she stands under the cascade of water.

With a fresh set of pajamas on, she sits on her bed as she finishes typing out a text to her family, letting them know she made it back safely. As she hits the send button, she jumps when she hears a loud knocking on the door.

She sits on her bed frozen, listening intently to see if maybe she'd imagined it or it was just the wind. When another set of knocks reverberate through her house, Christen's stomach lurches and adrenaline rushes through her body. She gets up from her bed and makes her way into the kitchen on the tips of her toes, making sure to make as little noise as possible.

She carefully paces to the front door and cranes her neck to look out the peephole. When she sees the outline of a recognizable figure standing on the porch, she lets out a sigh of relief and unlocks the door, swinging it open wildly.

"Tobin, what the fuck are you doing her? You scared the shit out of me!"

Tobin, who had been standing with her back to the door, spins around ungracefully, sporting a goofy half-grin.

"Hey! Sorry....I didn't mean to wake you up. What time is it?"

Christen can hear the slur in Tobin's speech. "It's almost 2 in the morning. You didn't wake me up just--come here, come inside." Mildly annoyed, she ushers Tobin through the front door, realizing she's in no condition to make it back to her house by herself. "Please tell me you didn't drive here."

Tobin's brows furl as she thinks deeply about this plea. "Uh...no...this girl at Murphy's dropped me off. She was NOT happy with me." Tobin laughs at this, meandering through Christen's house into her kitchen.

"Can I have some water?" She asks with her hand already digging through Christen's cabinet for a glass.

"Yeah..." Christen watches as she tries to catch up with the scene playing out in front of her. "Tobin, what happened? Why are you here?"

Tobin chugs the glass of water she'd made for herself and goes to refill it at the sink. "I just wanted to see you." She says innocently, dripping some water down her chin as she inhales her second glass.

"So you were out at Murphy's, got drunk, and had some chick drop you off at my place because you wanted to see me? How did you even know I'd be home?" Christen recounts, the frustration starting to swell in her.

"There's this thing called the internet!" She giggles like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "I looked up your flight and it said you were "arrived", so I wanted to come over and welcome you home."

Tobin's eyes droop as she makes her way over to Christen, using the counter for balance. "Are you not happy to see me?" She asks.

Christen lets out a disgruntled sigh, running her hand over her face. "Tobin--I mean--Yes, I'm glad to see you, but next time can you just let me know before dropping by in the middle of the night, dunk?"

This grabs Tobin's attention and wags a finger haphazardly at Christen. "Hey, you come by my house unannounced alllll the time and you don't see me complaining when you're all...sweaty...and sexy eyes..."

Christen thinks this is supposed to be an insult or a jab at her in some way, but she just chuckles at Tobin's inability to form an argument. "You got me there. I do do that." she muses

"Well.....serves you right." Tobin slurs, holding onto the counter for dear life as her responses start to make less and less sense.

Christen smiles and shakes her head, seeing that Tobin's conversational skills are quickly deteriorating. "Alright, lets get you to bed. We can talk more in the morning."

She slings her arm around Tobin's waist, propping her up as she leads them back into her bedroom. She sits Tobin down on the bed and takes off her shoes and socks, followed by the shirt and pants that smell like an ashtray and old beer.

"Are you trying to take advantage of me?" Tobin asks in her best attempt at a seductive tone.

"No Tobin." Christen shakes her head, snickering.

"Damn" Tobin lets out a long yawn and closes her eyes as Christen pulls the covers over her. Tobin still smells like a bar with alcohol seeping out of her pores, and Christen makes a mental note to wash the sheets tomorrow.

She goes around to the other side and crawls in, feeling not nearly as annoyed as she should be at this situation. She leans over and kisses Tobin's cheek. "Good night Tobin."

She gets no response, just a light snore indicating Tobin already passed out next to her.

***  
The next morning, Christen's alarm goes off far too early. fumbling in the dark to hit the snooze button, she berates herself for not taking an extra day off work to recover from the travel. In the dim morning light, she looks over to see Tobin, unaffected by the noise of her alarm, still sound asleep next to her. Christen smiles, shaking her head to herself as she remembers the night before. Not wanting to wake her, Christen slips out of bed as silently as possible to start her morning routine.

Half an hour later, she hears rustling from her bedroom.

"Morning Sunshine." Christen calls from her kitchen as she watches the shell of Tobin exit from her cave.

"Ugh, not so loud. And can we close the blinds or something, it's so bright." Tobin whines in a raspy morning voice.

She trudges over to the kitchen and slides onto a bar stool, laying her head down on the cool granite and rubbing the back of her neck. "Should I ask how I ended up here?" Tobin asks against the contertop.

Christen slides a glass of orange juice and some advil in front of Tobin "I wouldn't know. You just kind of showed up last night. Someone from the bar dropped you off I guess."

Tobin lets out a sigh, the first of many. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing last night. Things got a little out of hand."

Christen watches as Tobin takes the medicine and swallows it down in one gulp.

  
She looks at the woman with concern. "Is everything ok? I've never seen you like that before..."

Tobin nods. "Yeah, it's fine. I think it's just a case of the after-Christmas blues." She takes another sip of orange juice, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"What do you mean?" Christen questions

Tobin rubs her temples "Just like, everyone gets to enjoy the holidays with their families and boyfriends or girlfriends, and I'm stuck here, alone. It's depressing as fuck." She says it with a sarcastic scoff, but Christen can see the sadness behind Tobin's attempt at humor.

"I thought you got to spend Christmas with Alex and Serv..."

"It's not the same." Tobin grumbles "I'm just a third wheel. And seeing them--how happy they are---it's just..."

Tobin pauses, collecting her thoughts. "I'm happy for them, I really am.I just--when's it my turn? When do I get to be happy?"

Christen watches as Tobin looks away, here eyes glossing over just slightly as she fights the urge to let out more emotions. Christen's heart drops. She moves around to the other side of the counter, tenderly wrapping Tobin up in her arms from behind. "It's ok. I know, holidays can be hard, especially when you don't feel like you have a reason to celebrate."

Tobin nods silently, letting out a long sigh. "I guess that's why I ended up over here." Tobin whispers

"What do you mean?" Christen queries, her fingers running through Tobin's hair in an attempt to soothe the woman.

"You're just, like--I like being with you. You make me happy. I guess I just wanted to feel happy."

Christen smiles sadly at this admission, glad that she could be the light in Tobin's darkness, but saddened that there was darkness in the first place.

"I like being with you too Tobin. You make me happy too."

Tobin wiggles from Christen's grasp and spins around in her chair to face her. Her eyes are desperate as she looks up at Christen. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

Christen's taken aback by this sudden question. "Tobin--I..."

She doesn't know what to say. Words get caught in her throat and she stammers as she tries to figure out where this is suddenly coming from.

"I think you're tired and hungover and not really in a good place right now. We should probably wait and talk about this later..." Christen says to her shoes, knowing Tobin doesn't mean what she's asking in her current state of desperation.

"No--I mean, yeah I feel like shit, but just let me give you what you want." Tobin pleads

Christen's brows furrow at this statement. "You don't know what I want." she says bitterly, disgruntled that Tobin would presume to know how she's feeling or what she wants.

"Chris..." Tobin says with a knowing look

Christen pushes away from her, putting space between them. "I have to go to work. You can stay here if you need to, but I have to go."

Christen gathers her briefcase and keys in a whirlwind with Tobin still sitting, speechless, at the counter.

"So you don't want to talk about this." Tobin questions. A healthy dose of annoyance lacing her voice.

"No, not particularly. Not with you like this." Christen reprimands.

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, Tobin leans back watching Christen with a challenging gaze. "Well, guess I'll just hang out here until you get back from work so we can talk about this."

Christen rolls her eyes at this threat. "Oh come on, you're not seriously going to squat in my house all day are you?"

"You offered." Tobin says with a shrug.

Christen shakes her head, letting out an exasperated sigh. "Fine. Just don't burn the place down."

"I'll try not to."

With that, Christen marches out of the house to head to work. As she starts her car, she realizes she left her coffee in the kitchen, but she sure as hell isn't going back inside to get it now. Instead, she peels out of her driveway and races to work, hoping she can get to the coffee pot there before a caffeine headache sets in on top of the headache Tobin already created.

Luckily, the morning is slow with people still trickling in from the holiday break, and there is still plenty of coffee left in the kitchen by the time Christen drags herself in there. She pours herself a cup and blows across the top before taking her first hesitant sip.

"Hey, fancy seeing you here."

Christen spins around to find Alex looking far too chipper this early in the morning.

"Oh hey, morning. How's it going?" Christen asks

Alex shrugs "Eh, I wish we didn't have to come back to work so soon, but I guess that's just how it goes. How was your break?" Alex asks, maneuvering around Christen to pour herself a cup of coffee.

"Oh, fine. Got to see my family which was nice. I got in really late last night so I'm still recovering." Christen attempts to joke.

"Yeah, Tobin said something about that last night." Alex stirs her coffee absentmindedly "Has she, uh--have you talked to her yet?" Alex asks hesitantly.

Christen lets out a sarcastic laugh "Funny you should ask. She showed up at my house drunk last night."

Alex winces. "I had a feeling she might do that."

Christen looks at her, confused. "What makes you say that?"

Alex's eyes search her coffee mug as she thinks of how to respond. "Hm, how do I put this... So Tobin likes to put up this front that she's all chill and laid back and nothing really bothers her, and most of the time, that's how she really is. But whether she admits it or not, there are things that get to her. She tends to bottle things up, and when those things finally come out, you get something like what happened last night. She doesn't really know how to handle when she feels big emotions about something, so she kind of implodes."

The gears turn in Christen's head as she tries to put together the pieces Alex has laid out for her. "Yeah, Tobin was pretty emotional this morning."

Alex gives Christen a knowing nod. "I figured. After knowing her all these years, I can tell when she's getting close to bursting. Took her a little longer than I was expecting to be honest."

Christen chews the inside of her cheek anxiously, hesitant to ask Alex the question in the back of her mind. "Am I-- do you think this has anything to do with me?"

Alex just smiles "Pretty sure it has everything to do with you."

Christen nods to herself, silently cataloging all of this information.

"You want my advice?" Alex asks, getting Christen's attention again "Tobin likes you...a lot. And I don't know what kind of arrangement you guys have or whatever, but I think you're confusing to Tobin and she doesn't know what to do with you. So just talk to her. I know she can be really defensive and act like she doesn't care, but she does, I promise."

Christen bobs her head as she mulls this over. "We haven't really been that great at talking about this stuff I guess."

"Sounds like both you gals need to grow a pair and actually talk about your feelings." Alex lets out a laugh "You'd think that talking about your feelings would be like, the focal point of a relationship between two women."

Christen laughs along with Alex, thankful for the joke to bring some lightness back to the mood.

Alex takes a sip of coffee, smiling at Christen. "Alright, well I better get some work done. Let me know how things go, I know Tobin won't and I'm not in the mood to pry it out of her."

"Ok, I will, thanks." Christen says with a chuckle.

Alone again in the office kitchen, Christen pulls out her phone to check the time. It's mid-morning and as she makes her way back toward her desk, she realizes her boss' office is still dark, meaning she probably isn't coming into work today. Christen takes a quick look around the office, seeing that the office is still mostly empty and the few people stationed at their desks look anything but productive. Without another thought, she slips her coat back on and packs her laptop back into her bag, sneaking out the side door into the parking lot.

  
After driving on autopilot back to her house, she bursts through the front door, obviously catching Tobin off guard.

Tobin shoots up off the couch with a yelp and spins around to see who or what was standing at the front door.

"Jesus! You scared the shit out of me." Tobin says, clutching her chest.

"Guess we're even now." Christen says, having had a similar reaction to Tobin last night when she showed up unexpectedly.

"Why are you home so early?" Tobin asks, looking at her phone to check the time.

Christen walks into the living room, setting her things down in the nearby chair before coming around the couch to stand by Tobin. "The office was pretty dead and I had more important things to do than sit around pretending to work."

She takes Tobin's hands in her own, sitting them both down on the couch. "I'm sorry for this morning. I shouldn't have acted like that."

"No, I get it. It was a lot to spring on you all at once. I should be apologizing for acting like a dumbass."

They sit together wordlessly, neither quite sure how to start this conversation.

"I was at the office long enough to talk to Alex..."

Tobin groans. "Oh great. I'm sure she had something enlightening to say." 

"She did actually....She said you like me." Christen squeaks out

Tobin lets out a chuckle. "Well yeah. I wouldn't ask you to be my girlfriend if I didn't like you."

Christen sighs, hoping she can explain her thought process "I know. I think I just wasn't sure--I didn't know how involved you wanted to be with me."

"I think when we first met, I was trying to convince myself that I didn't need a girlfriend to be happy. I wanted to prove to myself that I could be single and just enjoy being casual with people, and I tried to do that with you. I thought that's how you wanted things to be too, so I was like, perfect! this is exactly what both of us want!--But I don't think that's what I want anymore." Christen swallows down the anxious lump in her throat.

Tobin reaches out to tuck a lock of hair behind Christen's ear, letting her fingers drag down her jawline. "I don't think I want that anymore either."

Christen smiles, locking eyes with Tobin, searching the deep brown orbs "Ask me again." she whispers

Tobin's lips spread widely, plumping her cheeks and crinkling her eyes in a genuine smile. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to keep this one short and sweet, so here you have it! Thanks for reading and asking questions on tumblr, I love getting your feedback and insights. I’ll be taking a break from writing for the foreseeable future, but my inbox is always open for one shot suggestions.


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